The importance of our mental health is perhaps a more prominent message these days, but it can still be challenging to talk about our feelings. Especially if you鈥檙e a man.
Somebody fully aware of the issue is football player Joe Bryan, currently on loan to French team Nice from Premier League club Fulham. He spoke to the 大象传媒 about his experiences with anxiety, and how talking his problems through made a real difference.
He said: 鈥淥ver the course of a few months I had a serious hamstring injury, I moved into an apartment that didn鈥檛 feel like home, these little tiny life things, I just felt down, kind of numb, dulled, everything was a bit strange like I was running through a cloud, that kind of stuff.鈥
The importance of opening up
The left-back explained how he withdrew from the people around him and would either not speak to people, or be snappy with them. From a health perspective, he suffered with headaches and stomach trouble and didn鈥檛 want to leave his bed. It was only when his club physio noticed something was wrong that he started to open up.
鈥淚 just think speaking out helps that view of, 鈥極h, I鈥檓 weak because I鈥檓 going through this鈥,鈥 Joe said, 鈥淣ot thinking that you鈥檙e attractive, someone looks better than me at the gym, performing poorly at their job, all these tiny little things that in your head. You go, 鈥業 don鈥檛 know why I feel like this, I don鈥檛 know why I鈥檓 thinking this, I鈥檓 not going to tell anyone because I鈥檓 embarrassed鈥.
鈥淚 can guarantee that nearly every man or woman goes through the same thought processes and thought patterns.鈥
A stigma that is disappearing?
Joe firmly believes that the stigma of men being seen as 鈥榳eak鈥 for talking about these things is gradually fading and his advice to anyone is to share how they feel with a group of friends.
He said: 鈥淚鈥檝e had conversations with my friends over the past couple of months that they鈥檝e been struggling and they鈥檝e said 鈥淣o we shouldn鈥檛 talk about these things, let鈥檚 just have fun. And I鈥檓 like, 鈥榥o鈥, this is an important part of friendship.
鈥淎nyone going through these things, they鈥檙e a completely normal part of life, whether you鈥檙e a lorry driver, a binman, a footballer or the Prime Minister, everyone has these little life things that can really add up. It鈥檚 just about, I think, opening up and sitting and having a conversation like this and saying, 鈥楢h, I鈥檝e had a rubbish few days, I broke up with my girlfriend, had an argument with my best mate and it鈥檚 completely normal鈥.鈥
Looking after yourself
You should always tell someone about the things you鈥檙e worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult.
If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you鈥檙e doing.
If you鈥檙e in need of in-the-moment support you can contact , where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on 大象传媒 Action Line.
This article was published in October 2022.
Anxiety: Four questions answered
Feeling stressed or experiencing anxiety? Find out from Anxiety Josh why we feel stressed and how best to handle it.
How to support a friend with their mental health
Katie Thistleton with advice from Young Minds on how to support a friend with their mental health.
鈥楾oxic positivity鈥: Why #GoodVibesOnly can leave you feeling bad
Tasha Bailey explains why being positive doesn't always help us feel better.