Positive, enjoyable experiences at mealtimes are one of the most important things we can do to encourage long-term healthy eating habits. Avoiding pressure really helps this, so if children feel relaxed and comfortable at the table, and see others enjoying meals, it鈥檚 more likely to create strong, positive associations with food.
These are great opportunities to model a relaxed and balanced approach to food. For example, by not focusing too much on the food you鈥檙e eating, but enjoying the occasion of all sitting down together.
Mealtimes are also a great chance to connect together and communicate. If our children feel good when they sit down to eat, it can work wonders in developing positive eating habits.
Take the opportunity to make a family meal and eat together without the pressure to eat in a particular way. Initiate a conversation about something they like to talk about, or talk about an activity they enjoy or a person they love. Notice what the experience is like to eat together in this way and jot down some thoughts.
Ask yourself questions like 鈥榟ow do you feel?鈥 Does your child appear relaxed? Have you noticed any changes in their behaviour during mealtimes? What changes have you identified? Bear in mind, it can take a few tries for children to adapt to change. Try not to be disheartened if you don't notice changes straight away!
What are the benefits of eating together with my child?
These are some of the benefits parents experienced from eating meals as a family more often:
- Introducing their child to new foods (even just by looking or touching). Read about how you can help your autistic child eat new foods.
- A child can experiment by trying a bit of what鈥檚 on your plate.
- Children learn through watching and copying you.
- Having the chance to chat and catch up without screens or distractions.
- Helping children with conversation and interactions, including children with SEND.
- Enjoying being together.
- It brings you closer.
Video: Families share their experiences of eating together
Priya: "So I come from South India, and most of my meal is based around South Indian cuisine. In our family, myself and my husband eat a lot of spicy food and we are a family of vegetarians, so we focus more on vegetables and dairy as well, we tend to eat. Eating together is something we've always done, and having that in the pack is really important because even though it's similar, sometimes we have a little different in our plates. So she'll be like, can I try that? And that's improving her palette."
Andrew: "If you're trying to teach her something, you can't teach her by just using words. She learns by watching you and copying you. Even like learning how to use a knife and fork. I think that with the pack, it just kind of reinforces the thing that if you are eating together, you're getting into habits together. And it's nice to eat together anyway. You know, there's so many times where you know she's gonna want to be apart from me or something like that. So yeah, we have those little times together anyway."
Abi: "Three, four nights a week is, it is just, you know, mayhem. They have their dinner, go to bed. I then have my dinner once they're in bed and sleeping. So now, especially like more of the weekends, I make it known, you know, that we are gonna sit down, we're gonna sit at the table, you know, we conversate and I feel like it's definitely had a better, you know, outcome for us. There's no tablets, there's no TV, there's nothing. We're just speaking and generally catching up, you know, just among eating together. So it's nice."
Danilo: "I always eat with him because I mean, it has a lot of benefits. I mean, he gets used to new foods. Even if he doesn't eat them now, I mean. maybe in the future he will eat them. And for him that's a very big challenge. He also gets a closer bond. I mean, because that's what is autistic. Autistic is a person that has problems with relationships, with communication, with interactions. For me being Spanish, I mean, eating together is part of our culture. I mean, it's a way of connecting together, is a way of the family being closer. I mean if not, I will not be Spanish."
How does good food create a good mood?
We all know that if we get a good night鈥檚 sleep, then we feel better the next day. Food can affect how our children sleep, and therefore their mood. Different foods can also impact how we feel. For example, white carbohydrates such as white bread and sugary foods can cause an energy crash because they鈥檙e low in fibre. They鈥檙e quickly digested and absorbed into the bloodstream, causing a rapid spike in blood sugar levels 鈥 this gives a quick burst of energy followed by a dip, which can affect concentration and mood. Giving our brains steady energy through 鈥榮low-release鈥 carbohydrates like oats or wholegrain breads and cereals can help how we feel. Consider introducing some wholemeal varieties into your child鈥檚 diet, and adding some protein alongside them, which can also help keep their mood balanced. Eggs or baked beans on wholemeal toast can be a great breakfast or lunch option.
Abi - Scarlett and Zayn's mum - from one of the families that feature in our video, says: 鈥淔ood is a massive part of our lives, so it鈥檚 good for me, and also for the children, to be able to see what they鈥檙e eating, what goes into the food. And also just knowing what they like, what they don鈥檛 like, what鈥檚 good for their body, what鈥檚 not good for their body, what makes them feel happy, what makes them feel maybe tired or sluggish鈥︹
One study (across 45 countries in Europe and North America) indicated that children and teenagers who more frequently ate breakfast had fewer sleep difficulties.
There鈥檚 also some research suggesting a link between our mood and how healthy our microbiome is (where the good and bad bacteria live in our gut) but there is still research to do in this field.
How can I create positive eating habits for my child?
Children begin forming eating habits as soon as they start to eat. As parents and carers, you have influence over a child's eating behaviours because you actively select food for the family, as well as modelling choices, patterns and practices. You set an example of when, where and how to eat for your child.
Developing healthy habits from an early age is incredibly powerful. Changing eating habits as adults can be challenging, so it鈥檚 important to encourage positive approaches to eating with children right from the start.
'Do as I do' can be highly effective. Children are more likely to eat fruits, vegetables, and drink milk when they see adults and peers doing the same.
Eating is one of the only activities that uses all of our senses at once. Encourage exploring the smell, touch and visual elements of food in order to support positive engagement with food.
3 tips for encouraging healthy eating habits
- Avoid pressure. Staying neutral and calm during mealtimes prevents stress at the table and supports positive experiences. Try to persevere, not pressurise when it comes to new things. Children need to be exposed to something new at least 10 - 15 times before they accept it, so try not to feel disheartened if they don't like it right away!
- Avoid using sweets as a reward for eating healthy food. This emphasises the idea that healthy food is negative and needs to be rewarded. Offer praise and encouragement instead.
- Timing is key! Try not to give snacks too close to mealtimes. Children will eat more at mealtimes if they鈥檙e feeling hungry.
Advice and expertise across our Happy Family Eating content was provided by children鈥檚 dietitian Angharad Banner - an independent and NHS dietitian.
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