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In this article:

• What is ADHD?
• Is ADHD something new?
• Does ADHD run in families?
• Should I get my child diagnosed with ADHD?
• Talking to your child about ADHD
• What can you do if you think your child has ADHD?

When Tanya Bardsley, a Real Housewives of Cheshire star and businesswoman, was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 39, she considered for the first time that her son might also have the condition.

Tanya, along with her mum Julie, have spoken to Parents’ Toolkit about their experience of managing ADHD as parents across two generations.

Community Paediatrician, Dr Richard Lee-Kelland, also offers advice on how you, like Tanya, can begin to understand ADHD.

What is ADHD?

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Dr Lee-Kelland explains that, “People with ADHD have significant difficulties in two main areas”.

"Inattention, which can include things like a lack of attention to detail, difficulty sustaining focus, getting easily distracted and struggling to complete everyday activities.”

"Hyperactivity/impulsivity, which can include fidgeting, feeling restless, struggling to stay silent and being “always-on-the-go.”

"People with ADHD can have either difficulties with inattention (an “inattentive type” ADHD - this used to be called Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD) or hyperactivity/impulsivity (a Hyperactive/impulsive type ADHD) but most people with ADHD have some symptoms in both areas called a “combined type” ADHD."

Anxiety and low mood are not part of ADHD, but are often seen in children with ADHD when their behaviour is out of control.Similarly, while temper tantrums, aggressive or violent behaviour aren't symptoms of ADHD they are often seen in children with the condition which can make it hard to differentiate the two, but there are lots of other reasons why a child might be angry or aggressive.

For more advice from Dr Lee-Kelland on identifying whether your child might have ADHD and supporting them if they do, head to this Parents' Toolkit article.

Is ADHD something new?

With the number of people diagnosed with ADHD on the rise, it might feel like ADHD is something that didn’t exist a generation or two ago.

However, this rise doesn't necessarily mean that more people today have ADHD than before. It could mean that there have always been those in society with the condition, only now more people are being diagnosed. Dr Lee-Kelland suggests that, "The increase may be caused by greater awareness and availability of facilities to diagnose the condition."

But it's hard to say for certain what's behind the rise and he adds that this could also have roots in environmental factors, such as "changes in school and home environments over time."

Another aspect that has changed over time is awareness. Dr Lee-Kelland says, "ADHD has become more visible in society and people are more aware of the condition. I think parents are generally more accepting towards medication as an option and the idea that a diagnosis and support might help their child’s symptoms improve."

In the film, Julie, Tanya's mum, spoke of her frustration that there wasn't a diagnosis for her daughter and others of her generation when they were growing up. She told Parent’s Toolkit, “I don’t feel guilty, because I didn’t know, but I feel a bit angry.”

Does ADHD run in families?

Tanya Bardsley's diagnosis with ADHD as an adult, led to a surprise diagnosis for her son, Rocco, once she recognised the signs. In the film, she explained…

"As soon as I got diagnosed, we all just said straight away - Rocco's got it."

Dr Lee-Kelland says that ADHD can run in families, but cautions that, "a family member having the condition does not mean that siblings or parents will have the condition."

If you think you might have ADHD as an adult, Dr Lee-Kelland has some advice…

"In order to have ADHD you must have had symptoms that were present before the age of 12. ADHD is not a condition that you develop in adulthood, however it may be the case that you have had difficulties that have not been recognised until later life.”

Should I get my child diagnosed with ADHD?

If you are considering whether your child might have ADHD, there are some things Dr Lee-Kelland says parents should consider, and advises that “these can be difficult to weigh up on your own, your child's school should be able to give their perspective.”

"Is this a longstanding issue? ADHD has to be present for over 6 months and symptoms start before the age of 12."

“If it is a new problem, is there another reason why my child’s behaviour has changed? For example, emotional difficulties, problems with sleep or change in school environment.”

“Is this causing significant problems? Perhaps it is interfering with your child’s ability to participate in school, or causing major difficulties in home life.”

Tanya’s mum, Julie, had some thoughts for parents in this situation…

"If you're a parent, and you suspect that there’s something, don't live in denial. It doesn't matter what your child does, but it will help them if they find out."

Dr Lee-Kelland adds, "You might feel worried about discussing ADHD symptoms with your child’s school, but teachers are familiar with ADHD and should be open to talk with you about the condition. Schools will also have a Special Education Needs Co-ordinator (SENCo) who has specific responsibilities in supporting children with these kinds of difficulties."

Talking to your child about ADHD

Speaking to your child about ADHD might be daunting, especially if you are just learning about the condition yourself.

Dr Lee-Kelland says, "I would avoid saying that your child has ADHD until they have been formally diagnosed, instead talk about their symptoms – e.g. 'we can help you do better with concentrating at school'. Make sure to talk about the child’s positive attributes as well and don’t frame the difficulties as being the child’s fault – it isn’t."

If you're worried about how your child will respond to the outcome of an assessment, Dr Lee-Kelland says that your doctor can help explain the results to them and that it might help them to have a separate conversation with the doctor.

He adds that, "Some children or young people may be on board with a diagnosis, others not, and some may find the whole conversation difficult. However, it is important that they are included in the conversation and their voice is heard, as having their engagement is vital for the success of any therapy."

What can you do if you think your child has ADHD?

If you think your child might have ADHD, Dr Lee-Kelland advises that you have a discussion with a teacher at school, the school’s Special Educational Needs Co-Ordinator, or your GP.

It can take time for a diagnosis, but Dr Lee-Kelland says that, "your child can still be supported by their school without a formal diagnosis - most children with a diagnosis won't require medication."

For Tanya, "the most important thing for a parent [of] a child with ADHD is to be there. To be available. To be loving. When I was speaking to the psychiatrist, he says they just need an anchor. And when he said anchor, he means a person to believe in them and to love them."

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