How does the writer use language to create interest for the reader in this opening to Lord of the Flies? (10 marks)
The author uses two characters to create interest for the reader. One is a boy and the other has only spoken, we don’t know what he looks like yet. The blond boy is wearing the wrong clothes for the setting, some sort of uniform because it says he has a school sweater. This makes it seem interesting. The boy is hot and his clothes are not very practical. He is trying to walk through the jungle, but it is difficult for him. Different lengths of sentences are used to vary the writing.
The bird probably surprised the boy as it flew up quickly, which is interesting. The writer also uses lots of similes and metaphors and the setting is in a jungle, which makes it interesting for the reader. There is also talking in the extract which draws the reader in. The voice wants the boy to wait for him, so the reader finds that interesting too.
Feedback - basic
It focuses on WHAT is happening, rather than HOW the writer is creating interest.
There are no direct quotations to support the points, and the points themselves are not developed.
Saying there are ‘lots of simileA comparison using 'like' or 'as' to create a vivid image, eg as big as a whale; float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. and metaphorA comparison made without using 'like' or 'as', eg 'sea of troubles' and 'drowning in debt'.’ is too vague: evidence is needed and the effects need to be explained.