How does the writer use language to create interest for the reader in this opening to The Picture of Dorian Gray? (10 marks)
The writer uses the senses to interest the reader. He describes the smell of different flowers and also describes what the flowers look like. A character is mentioned, and his name makes the reader think he might be rich. The character is lying down and smoking. The windows are described as open and huge and the curtains are made of silk. The descriptions make the setting seem very appealing, it feels like this character has lots of luxury. The room is a studio, so maybe it is a painters room with a garden outside with lots of flowers.
The writer also mentions things from Japan and Tokyo, which might make the reader intrigued as it sounds exciting. There are some unusual words that might make the reader think the setting is in the past. There are some well chosen adjectives and verbs that really create a picture in the mind of the reader. These words paint a picture for the reader. There is a very long sentence in the second paragraph, followed by two shorter sentences. This helps the description flow better. There are some examples of alliteration and words connected to movement. This makes the writing more effective and interests the reader.
Feedback - basic
It focuses on WHAT is happening, rather than HOW the writer is creating interest.
There are no direct quotations to support the points, and the points themselves are not developed.
Phrases like ‘helps the description flow better. There are some examples of alliterationA sound feature; the repetition of the same sounds (mainly consonants) usually at the beginning of words.’ is too vague: evidence is needed and the effects need to be explained.