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• Hinduism teaches that family is the foundation of society.
• Marriage is celebrated as a spiritual stage of life, achieved as a Hindu moves through ashramas.
• A Hindu wedding is called the Vivah Sanskar. Hindu wedding ceremonies vary due to different local cultures.
• Hinduism teaches that sexual relationships should only occur in marriage between a man and a woman.
• According to Hindu teachings, in marriage, a couple should procreate. However, there are a range of views on the use of contraception.
• Gender equality is seen as very important in Hinduism, with every person having equal status and independent worth.
• Since the Vedic Age, a third gender has been recognised by Hindus.

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Remember

There are different groups of Hindus, whose beliefs and practises are shaped by which gods they prefer to worship.

Examples of these groups includes Shaivism and Vaishnavism.

Watch the video below to compare Hindu, Muslim and Christian attitudes and teachings towards marriage.

Nature of the Hindu family

Hindus believe that life is cyclical, this is called samsara. This teaching has a strong influence on how Hindus view family and society.

In Hinduism, families can include nuclear families, stepfamilies, extended families and same-sex parents.

Many Hindus live in extended and joint families, which usually includes three or four generations living together, in one household. The adults take care of the children and in return, as the children grow up, they take care of their elderly relatives.

Ashramas

Hinduism recognises four stages of life called ashramas.

These stages are:

1. Brahmacharya: The student
2. Grihastha: The householder
3. Vanaprastha: The retirement stage
4. Sannyasa: The sacred pilgrim

The belief in ashramas, means that all Hindus should go through the householder stage of life, which includes a person having their own family.

A householder’s dharma is to provide for their family physically, emotionally, spiritually and materially.
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Purpose of the Hindu family

For Hindus, the purpose of family may include:

• To provide support for the family and the wider community – “If the family duty is performed and gifts given to the needy then there is heaven and nowhere else,” (The Laws of Manu). Religious teachings remind Hindus of their roles and responsibilities, such as care of the elderly and children obeying their parents. These are considered part of living a moral life and fulfilling these duties is known as dharma.

• To procreate – Hindus believe that the happiness of a parent is based on having a continuous line of children: “Through a son he conquers the worlds, through a son's son he obtains immortality, but through his son's grandson he gains the world of the sun,” (Manusmriti 9:137).

• To raise children in the Hindu faith – The family is seen as important for the Hindu religion to continue and grow. A parent's role is to teach their children the spiritual way of life. For example, by the family worshipping together and completing the Sacred Thread ceremony, largely popular with Brahmin (upper caste) families, children come to understand what it means to be a Hindu.

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Exam top tip

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For your exam, it is important to know the definitions of key terms.

Take our quiz below to test your knowledge.

There are several stages of a Hindu Wedding:

• Jayamaala: The couple meet with both families, exchange garlands, and declare their intention of willingly getting married. Arranged marriages are based on agreement from both the bride and the groom. Forced marriages are forbidden.
• Madhu-parka: Food is shared and gifts are given. The bride accepts the bridegroom and requests that she is accepted by his family.
• Vivaha-homa: A sacred fire is lit and the priest speaks sacred words in Sanskrit. The couple are reminded of the selflessness needed to have a family.
• Paanigrahan: The vows ceremony takes place around a fire. Seven sacred vows are made between the couple:
  1. Nourish each other
  2. Strength
  3. Faithfulness
  4. Respect families
  5. Care for children
  6. Healthy and peaceful life
  7. Friendship and loyalty.
• Shilarohan and Laaja Homa: The couple are reminded of the strength and devotion needed to get through life’s difficulties.
• Sapta-Padi: The vows are sealed. This is represented by a symbolic matrimonial knot being tied in their clothes.
• Surya Darshan and Dhruva Darshan: The couple look at the Sun and the Polar Star to be blessed.
• Ashirvada: A blessing is said for a happy and blessed married life as the couple leave the ceremony.

The nature and purpose of Hindu marriage

The Hindu marriage ceremony is considered sacred, binding a couple together for life.

I promise to never abandon her, whatever happens.”

Hindu wedding vow

Marriage is one of the spiritual stages in life and takes the Hindu couple into the second ashrama, from the student stage of life to that of the householder stage.

Hinduism emphasises the importance of marriage being a lifetime commitment. This is reflected in many traditional Hindu stories such as Rama and Sita.

If you are in love, the love should be eternal.”

Shrimad Bhagavad Gita

Traditionally, couples belonged to the same varna and marriages were arranged. However, it is now much more acceptable for couples to find their own partner.

Hinduism teaches that the purpose of marriage is procreation and the joining of two families.

Women were created to bear children, and men to carry on the line. That is why there is a joint duty for husband and wife”.

Laws of Manu 5

Polygamy

Polygamy is the act of marrying multiple partners, and is illegal in the UK.

Most Hindus believe in monogamy. In India, the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 made it illegal for a man to have more than one wife. Therefore many Hindus living worldwide take this to mean polygamy is unacceptable.
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Although divorce is permitted in Hindu Law, it is something that is discouraged and can carry a stigma, especially for women. In addition, Hindu law does not allow divorce if you belong to the Brahmin caste.

O Husband and Wife! Remain here only – do not separate.”

Rigveda 10 85:42

Although there is nothing stated about divorce in the Bhagavad Gita, Hinduism teaches that marriage is for life. Therefore, separating or divorcing can be seen as breaking the laws of dharma which could impact a Hindu's future lives.

That neither by any amount of money or by legal or social repudiation can a woman be released from her vow of being the wife of her husband.”

Manu Samhita 9:46

While Hinduism does not support divorce, if a couple have mutually agreed that the marriage should be dissolved, section 15 of the Hindu Marriage Act allows divorce.

Due to the importance that Hinduism places on family, if a divorce is granted, Hindus are expected to remarry. This is also the case if a person is widowed.����

Same-sex weddings have been legal in the UK since new legislation came into force, in 2013.

For many Hindus, a key purpose of marriage is procreation and the The Laws of Manu only teach about heterosexual relationships. Some Hindus use this as an argument against homosexual relationships and same-sex marriage.

However, some Hindus, such as those in the Smartism tradition, believe that sexual orientation is natural, as it has been given by God. Therefore every individual, regardless of their sexual orientation, should be respected as God’s creation.

Men who are not aroused by women are said to be born as such due to previous life impressions.”

Charaka Samhita 4 2:17-21

This means that some Hindus believe same-sex couples should have equal rights. So whilst some Hindu priests choose to not perform Vivah sanskar for homosexual couples, some will respect the choice of the couple and will perform Vivah sanskar for same-sex marriages.

Some Hindus accept same-sex relationships because of the sculptures and carvings of homosexual acts in ancient Hindu temples. Furthermore, Hindu religious texts and teachings do not specifically refer to, nor forbid, homosexual relationships.����

Hinduism recognises a third gender, Hijra.

The Laws of Manu suggest that this third gender is neither male nor female.

Many Hijras have traditionally left home to serve in communities, working in Hindu temples, serving the mother goddess Parvati.

The main characters in theatrical plays of the Mahabharata and Ramayana stories in India are mostly third gender.

For many Hindus, such as those of the Shaivism and Vaishnavism traditions, having sex before marriage is seen as bringing dishonour into the family and is strongly discouraged. Sex is seen by Hindus as a gift from God and therefore should only take place within marriage.

Some Hindu teachings state that, while consensual, premarital sex is not an offence, should the couple then marry:

When he has a connection with a willing maiden, it is not offence … but he shall honour her and espouse (marry) her.”

Nāradasmṛti 12,72

Within Hinduism, the intention of the action should be looked at to decide whether the sexual behaviour is lawful (dharma) or unlawful (adharma). If a person pursues sex purely for their own pleasure, it is considered unlawful.

Sexual expression in marriage is important within Hinduism. The example of Rama and Sita as an ideal Hindu married couple, who were faithful to one another, is seen as the standard to be aimed for.

Committing adultery is betraying dharma, which could also prevent the attainment of moksha. Betrayal can bring bad karma as well as harming family life, including preventing children from becoming good Hindus, which is not acceptable.

O married men and women; be loving and faithful to one another.”

Shikshapatri of Lord Swaminarayan

For many Hindus, the purpose of marriage and sex is to have children. Family planning is seen as important and acceptable once a couple believes their family is complete. Hinduism teaches that contraception should never be used to avoid having children completely, as it is a Hindu’s dharma to have children.

A man should have sex with his wife during her fertile season and always find satisfaction in his own wife.”

Laws of Manu 3

Ethical considerations on how the different types of contraception work are taken into account by many Hindus. Some contraception is seen as stopping life, which goes against some Hindu teachings that life begins at conception:

Where a man deposits the semen in a woman … it becomes one with the woman’s body as if it were part of her own body.”

Aitareya Upanishad 2:2

Hindus believe that every soul is an actual or potential part of Brahman, so every soul must be of equal value, whatever the person’s gender.

I look upon creatures equally.”

Bhagavad Gita 9.29

However, some traditional Hindus believe that men and women have different purposes in society. Therefore men and women cannot have equal roles and responsibilities in religion. According to the teachings in the Shruti scriptures, women cannot be priests or religious leaders.

A girl, a young woman or even an old woman should not do anything independently, even in her own house.”

Law of Manu 5

Traditionally, only males in the top three varnas, or castes, could study scriptures to the highest level. It was believed that women had essential duties in maintaining Hindu traditions within the home.

Other Hindus believe women should have equal rights in both life and religion. They think women should be allowed to be religious leaders because all souls are part of the divine, and are equal. They would point to references to women teachers in the Upanishads.

This equal status is mirrored in the relationships between male and female deities such as Shiva and Kali.