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It's a cold night and the sound of car horns are floating up towards the night sky. The city is lit up like a Christmas tree sparkling like stars. The harsh wind is trying to push me off the steep building but I'm fighting back with all my might. The rain feels like glass penetrating my skin. It's beating down and is causing me nothing. Nothing like always.

I am looking down towards the grim alley below me. Slime as green as grass covers the walls and the stench of dead meat wafts into my nostrils. I hear a terrible noise. It's full of fear and terror. The sound is awful, it's tearing me up and even though I don't even though I don't know where it's coming from I feel despair and I never feel anything.

I had to find that sound so I came down to the alley. It's a woman covered in rags and dirty as a sewer. She's crying, the tears are rolling down her cheeks. She's turned to look at me. As I look into her eyes for the first time I feel emotion. Her eyes are the turning point in my life. My first feeling, they are awful, I want my old self back. Full of pain. The emptiness in her eyes brings me to tears on the inside.

'Help me please! I can't live with myself, end my life.' She is crying at me. All the terror in her is transferred to me and I feel all her pain. It's so terrible. So heartbreaking. This one woman alone has ruined my life. 'Please heal all my pain.'

I'm just staring at her. Saying nothing I see all her grief once again I feel her pain. She's killed the old me and in her place I've been born. I want revenge but that's evil.

The anger is flooding into me as I walk away. I have learned one thing of my new body. I'm a killer. Her emotions are still haunting me as I walk away. Finally after 25 years of nothing I feel something and I can't take it.

Something cold and clammy is running down my cheek. Tears. My first tears hurt me. I feel the salt in them, stinging my cheek. So much pain I didn't even know was possible. I don't even know the reason for such tears. Sadness? Pain? That woman? Me?

Why me? Why now? Pain kills a person alone and in one day I admit defeat. I have failed on my first day. I never felt that warmth. That happy thing I've always been hearing about. That thing that fills you up with so much joy and relief you forget everything bad. I wish I had some now. To cure me. To save me.

It's difficult to go on without regret. If I had killed her maybe the pain would let me go put instead I end up killing myself because of that one sense of regret