´óÏó´«Ã½

'Sophie, I do not know how to tell you this, but I have breast cancer,' Mother explained. My life was slipping away before me, the world had tumbled down upon my mother and there was no hope. 'I know it is hard to understand but one day I will leave you, my illness is terminal. The doctors have tried alternative treatment but there is no cure. As far as I am concerned I have only 6 months to live.' Her words crumbled in my heart and I knew that I had to keep her going, I was her engine now.

You could see pain splitting my mother in half. In agony she worked to look after me even though being warned not to. Each day was precious to us, a ticking time bomb. The side effects also came into kick-start. Her beautiful hair fell out, it was as light as a feather. Once so beautiful, this illness turns her into a monster. I had to think of my mother and what counted on the inside. I slept beside her every night and watched her twist and turn sweating in a downpour of rain. It was like watching someone fit uncontrollably. In the morning I quickly removed the dead hair from her pillow and stuffed it in my treasure chest. I did not want her to see all of the hair, it made it harder for my mother, and it made her cry inside.

Every day I added to my list of things my mother wanted to do before she died. They had to be done sooner or later; it was not worth wasting time. A major event was listed and I thought it was slightly adventurous. But despite this I knew she had the courage of a lion, brave at heart. 'A bungee jump!' she exclaimed when I asked her.

My mother's mood changed like the weather and you would not know what the forecast ahead was. I had to take over the house, I washed everything and bathed my mother, and she was close to disabled, unmovable, brittle at the bone. No way was our things to do list going to continue. A scheduled bungee jump cancelled despite her efforts to continue it, was a blow to her.

I could feel in my bones things were wrong. All I heard was a gargle emerge from her mouth each time I attempted a conversation. Froth bubbled around her lips. I had to wipe away the impurities. That night I tucked her into bed. I felt the air stiffen. The moment had come. I fumbled for the phone in the middle of the night and dialled those three dreaded numbers. Soon, I could hear the sirens blaring and the bright lights flashing. She was fitting but this time more badly than ever.

I lost her sadly but I knew it was fate. She warned me and guided me through life almost as if she was preparing me for the real world all along. I watched her every move and followed them. I decided to cremate her thinking that she would like to be set free from the boundaries which restricted her to move and speak to me. Her soul was free, it could search inside me now and she could fully appreciate life without pain and suffering.