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Joyful days of love and smiles '
And I can see the smiles before my eyes, although they're no longer there.
And the past wraps itself around me:
Like a warm blanket on a winter's day;
It entwines itself into me,
Penetrating my soul.
It smells of cinnamon,
And it tastes of champagne.
And in my mind I'm dancing.
And it's so close I can taste it on my lips;
I can't wait,
I never could '
Anticipation fills me with the fuzzy fizzy furling feeling
That they call love.

But then,
The blanket bursts into flames,
The cinnamon turns to dust in the corner of an untended room,
The champagne turns to unripe grapefruit,
And the dance floor becomes thin blood ice.
You'll run into my memories and tear them up,
I'll lock my eyes to yours, and hear the padlock click '
But you've got the only key,
And you avert your gaze to the ground.
White hot anger,
My skin is burning,
My eyes close, and
It hurts like a flower with no petals.

You piece things together in your lightening mind, and I can see it happening.
Like clockwork,
You say it stickily, like gum between your fingers.
And I don't know what to say.
You shake your head in disbelief,
Swamps and stinking cesspits,
Toxic waste and sewage.
I'm trapped in an unbreakable cage.

It's late; the sky is dotted with stars
And I wonder what it would be like to lie inside one.
Warmth like freshly baked cake.
But it never lasts long, does it?
A gargantuan ball climbs into my throat;
And this smell isn't mine anymore.
Hot tears on your back,
And you look at me,
Sapphires doused in salt water,
And I can see you're feeling disregard
I snatch a few miniscule breaths,
My voice stumbles over hills and mountains;
A gift may be a gift, but the recipient never truly owns it.
This sapphire saltwater is acid guilt to your veins.

I burn like the sun;
A rage filled parade stamps with pure ferocity,
As I wish staring might make you combust.

I awaken to the day
And the sunlight seeps in and filters through my mind.
A dusty dot of doubt settles in the back of my mind,
But I'm floating like a feather caught in a breeze,
Like a tiny particle of something so amazing '
It tastes like sex with chocolate strawberries;
It feels like paper thin cashmere:
It smells like heat and humidity.
And we're sweating precious drops of butterflies,
Fitting perfectly together between the sheets like plywood.
And our breath is mingling like guests at an expensive party,
With towers of profiteroles and an endless supply of French champagne,
Little lights glittering in the navy velvet sky as they hang from the pure white marquees.
And we, us'we are no longer separate beings;
We've merged together in blissful meaning,
Like warm plasticine being stretched and then squeezed:
And I know now what it's like to lie inside a star;
We're in a giant hot air balloon, floating over fields of joy;
Hand in hand, we jump together and feather-float back down to earth.

You're as persuasive as a snake.
I slide around your finger like a twist of supple string.
I know exactly what you're doing:
diversion.
You're a tropical rainforest wherever I please,
And it's undoubtedly alluring:
Alluring like ice cream on a hot summer's day.

Like serene crystal water falling from nowhere,
I feel I'm giving off beauty like light '
I'm slowly falling backwards onto a plump silk bed,
And the air I'm breathing all belongs to you.

I pad up the stairs like a guilty lioness,
I tiptoe across the hall
And press my back against the wall;
Sliding along towards the bedroom door.
I dare myself to look,
And slowly as a snail on Morphine,
I look.

And there it is,
Plain as day,
Poison,
A cobra bite,
Venom seeps into my body,
Killing me inside at the speed of light.
My one and only love,
My muse,
My first and last,
My number one '
Has turned into
The cheetah,
The evil one,
The nasty, horrid, repulsive, most unbelievable,
devil.

So silently I disappear,
And I walk until I find fields and fields,
Nothing but fields.
And I go to the middle of the biggest I can find and I scream:
A door to a room full of burning hot lava,
opened.
The lava engulfs everything,
And even the single blades of grass shudder to my scream,
Nails to a blackboard,
Scraping through a million amplifiers,
All wired up to my brain.

I scream until my throat is freshly hacked meat,
Raw, and I run out of breath
Like a heavy smoker running twenty metres.

And I collapse;
Stare at the sky,
And I wish it would fall forever.

As night falls
Like a curtain at the end of a spectacular play,
I fall asleep.

I stumble through the doorway like a wayfaring stranger,
Feeling tired as a dying fairy's last breath,
I'm a mess
If ever there was one.

But nothing matters.

And there you are
With your where's and your why's and your how's,
You vile cobra-cheetah.

I hear voices,
And I feel my eyes slowly open.
I blink silver dust,
My vision's not quite right;
A mole trying to dig in thin air.

A violinist scraping back and forth, back and forth.
And you walk in.
Gooey black stinking tar.
Your voice is incision,
I croak.
My voice is gravel on aluminium.
I wonder whether I spoke or just thought,
Pure wonder giving off steam,
And unbearable greed for sympathy and worry.
Cold fat wobbling over blancmange mounds.

I see you again.
Vile Vicious Venomous,
The ugliest monster rising from the depths of hatred.
Spitting fires and melting metal.

I'm desperate for escape,
A moth in a jar.

Smoking, Steaming, Melting '
A foetus in a frying pan,
Megaphones screaming bloody murder,
A window and then another one,
Trees on fire.
Blue glass tinted with blood
And turquoise seas with currents of regret.

She falls asleep and all she thinks about is him.
She falls asleep,
And all she dreams about is him.

A crumbling black tulip
underneath red hailstones.

I love you so much,
I love you like salt in the sea,
I love you like toast and butter,
I love you like everything imaginable.

Black butterflies are everywhere,
I'm a puppet on strings,
One by one,
You're cutting them with shiny razor-sharp scissors.

I love you like poppy seeds,
I love you like marshmallows,
I love you like the sunrise
And the sunset,
Which I'll never see again.

Murky water washing over me,
Things getting blurry,
Nothing but fuzz,
A broken record.

Red ink across scary white skies,
ding-ding-ding, decision time.

I've got this fixation,
I'm like a child with its favourite toy.

Sirens and shiny yellow jackets
Could surround me,
But I've got a better idea.

I think, perhaps
You might even understand me,
Maybe, just this time
You'll grasp the concept,

But,

You don't.

A song suddenly stopping and scratching
Into something awful.
Repetitive.
Over and over.
The sound of metal going through bones.

Liquid Nitrogen is steaming
Below your feet
I half scream, half wail, in complete hysterics.
A matador and a bull.

Ruby laced saltwater sapphires.
Dirty purple sludge.

I only asked for memories.