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February 28th 2010
So we eventually hopped off the Laos-Vietnam chariot in Hue (Southern Vietnam) around 10pm after a gruelling 16 hour journey and countless breakdowns, which resulted in us having to be towed half the way by the bus infront.Laos transport,gotta love it ay. Anyhow, we ambled sleepily to the first guesthouse we could find and after a phrasebook grapple with the guesthouse lass, managed to set down our heavy loads,safe in the knowledge we could soon rest our weary melons.
Before sleep however (or checking out the room) we went to a nearby vietnamese restaurant to indulge in the local cuisine, which turned out to be an array of jellied meats on a bed of rice, tasty.
Unsatisfied with our meat banquet, but heavy limbed and bleary eyed, we plodded back to the g.house and checked into our suite. Well, Jo&I are certainly not fussy when it comes to accomodation,no sir,cheap and cheerful ahoy I tell thee, basic is no problemo,cold showers are a breeze just as long as it's somewhat clean. Everywhere else we've stayed has been wonderful so we can't complain, cheap&basic, but clean. This however was dirt central.
Now, I don't mind untidyness, a bit of dusty grime and the odd pube from travellers past here and there, but this room really did take the soggy biscuit.Crumbs,mould,mysterious hairs and general muck adorned the place like a dulux paint job gone wrong. Old sponges,plungers and toothpaste tubes were strewn around the festering bathroom, a trickle of water oozed eerliy from the funghi filled showerhead and cobwebs hung limply from the ceiling. Suddenly, a rusting can fell from the damp ridden window ledge, the sharp clattering sound startled me out of my filth induced daze. Oh how I longed for Kim&Aggie from 'how clean is your house?'.
Bluh!It really was horrid but we were just too tired to bother moving elsewhere, so we solemnly slipped into our sleeping bags and fell into a well earned slumber, I dread to think what lurked beneath the (tea?) stained duvet.
Upon awakening, we left promptly in the morning, actually set an alarm so we could leave within check out time, first time we've been successful in doing so. Anyhow, just to add insult to injury, as I mooched down the rickety stairs, I realised my flip flops were not where I had left them. Hmmm, curious I thought but just assumed they would be a' lurkin' somewhere nearby. However, after an extensive scan of the area, the scamps were still nowhere to be found, so I concluded they must be chilling in the room even though I could distinctly remember taking them off downstairs as a sign of respect. So, the owner lady lead me back up the stairs to the room of doom and opened the door, it was at this point I noticed something very odd, very odd indeeeeeed...SHE WAS WEARING MY RUDDY FLIP-FLOPS! My black glittery primark flip-flops (bargain) there was no doubt about it, they 100% mine. Oh, never mind, probably a simple flip-flop misunderstanding I naively thought to myself, easy mistake to make I guess, but soon I could see the malicious intent behind her eyes. This was no honest mistake.
I tried desperately to communicate by pointing at both our sets of feet whilst repeatedly saying 'my shoe', but it was to no avail. I'm sure she understood, but her desire for my glittery black numbers had taken ahold of her mind and morals. I will admit that it did cross my mind to snatch my flip flops back from her dishonest feet and run to the hills, but it was then that I realised the ridiculousness of the situation and after 2 futile minutes of attempting to reclaim my flippun floppun, I surrendered to her wrath.I had lost all will to fight for my right to flip-flops. She had one the sorry war.
So I turned on my bare heels, picked up my rucksack and silently cursed the flip flop thief. Luckily I had a spare pair in my bag.
I hope the theiving mistress enjoys them.

Moral of the story: Always carry a spare pair of flip flops in your luggage as you can never be sure when the flip flop thief may strike.