大象传媒

Adam

Have you ever been so head over heels in love that you would do anything for that special someone? Have you ever shared a connection that is so real that you feel as if you are in a beautiful dream?

Adam was the love of my life, Adam was the one, and Adam was my true love.

Adam was not real.

I am about to tell you my story. It is a tale of love, a tale of insanity.

He began as a mere dream. I was in love with my best friend, Adam. We had become friends over the years. My feelings had never died down. Each and every day I wanted him more and more. He was all I could think about. Then, one fateful day, Adam told me that he and his family were to move to America. He said it was also very unlikely that we would ever see each other again. My heart felt like it was being ripped into tiny shreds. I tried to convince him to stay the night before he was due to leave but we just ended up arguing. The next day, I got up and got dressed to apologise and tell him about my feelings and to say goodbye. When I got to his house, they had already left.

I woke up with tears streaming down my face.
Shaking it off, I started to get ready for school. I had then pondered Adam芒聙聶s appearance. His face was an innocent blank slate, but he was white and had brown floppy hair. Since I had no recollection of Adam芒聙聶s angelic yet non-apparent face, I decided to give him features that I found attractive.

He was now my image of perfection, and it made me smile that this gorgeous guy was all to myself, in my imagination. He made me smile when I thought of him. In a way, he gave me hope that in the real world I could find a man like him.

Months passed, and yet he was still on my mind. I had been praying too dream of him once more, but so far it had been nightmare after nightmare corrupting my mind. I was slowly but surely losing the original image of Adam. In an effort to never forget him, I included him in my frequent day dreams.

I had told my closest friends about Adam a while ago. They laughed and made joke of my imagination. They said he had a stupid name, I was crazy, and I was silly. It hurt, but I smiled to hide my pain and frustration. If they had listened to the way I truly felt, things may have been different...but I芒聙聶ll come to that part of the story later. How could they laugh at something that was driving me crazy? I felt alone.

Due to the reaction of my friends, I decided against telling my family. Fearing the same reaction and ridicule.
That night, I got lucky.

I dreamt of him again, it was a replay, but I cried nonetheless.
It was a great reminder of why I was obsessing over him in the first place. This felt like a real love, a real passion for this person who didn芒聙聶t exist... I was under a spell and I wanted someone I couldn芒聙聶t have. It drove me crazy. I had multiple fantasies about him.

The more I thought about him, the more he began to come alive. Soon I knew what his favourite colour was and his favourite food was. I loved how he tossed his hair in a special way and the cheeky grin he gets when he finds something funny.
Yes, I was crazy but I didn芒聙聶t know at the time. His image was appearing slowly but surely, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was in love with a boy called Adam.

It was soon summer, which left me to my own company. I was usually alone and I had come accustomed to the silence. I went into the garden at sunrise with a blanket and a book. I spent hours in the blistering sunshine and went in occasionally for sun block. I didn芒聙聶t eat that day, my appetite had suddenly vanished. Sometimes I stared at the sky, other times I read, Most times I thought of him.

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, I drifted into a deep sleep.
When I awoke, my vision was blurred and I was confused. I must芒聙聶ve been sleeping for hours and the sun was waving me goodbye. Then I heard a voice.

芒聙聹Lie down, you芒聙聶re confused and disorientated. Do you know how long you spent in the sun? You look really burnt芒聙聺 said the stranger.
His cool hands brushed my forehead and made me shiver.
芒聙聹Who are you?芒聙聺 I muttered half asleep.
芒聙聹Ha, I芒聙聶m Adam芒聙聺 He said.
I sat up immediately. He was gone.