How To Destroy...Beyonce
NOTE: Cutting bits off trees and throwing them at internationally famous R&B/pop icons is not a nice thing to do, and may result in you getting a stiff beating off some massive security guard or other...even if you ARE a squirrel. I mean, seriously, you'd have to be nuts to even try it. And I didn't even mean that to be a pun...well, maybe a bit.
So, as always (with great emphasis on the word ALWAYS, Beyonce obsessives), this is only to be attempted when circumstances present you with no other option.
Say if Beyonce had developed the ability to fly, and she wanted to use this new found power to really WOW the audience at a prestigious awards ceremony, but it turned out that her powers only worked if she inhaled the smoke from an entire rainforestful of burning trees, thus leaving her little parlour trick saddled with a carbon footprint the size of Brazil.
And say if she decided that the global devastation such a trick would cause was completely worth it, and managed to get the backing of the United Nations, even though everyone would know that this could only cause a global catastrophe.
And let's go on to say, finally, that it turns out she can't really fly after all, and she'd be doing her trick using a wire, but that she made up the story about the smoke because she just really doesn't like rainforests...and it's not really Beyonce after all, it's an evil robot Beyonce...and she really, really smells, of poo....
if all of these things were to come to pass, and you could train a squirrel to use a chainsaw, well, now you know what do to.
I tell you, sometimes I reckon ChartBlog should be available on the National Health...
Comments