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All By Myself...Don't Wanna Be

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:20 UK time, Thursday, 10 July 2008

Scrumpled ChartBlogDear ChartBlogger,

You know, if you wanted to walk away, if you really wanted to leave behind all of the good times we've shared over the years, those crazy days, and wild nights, you could at least have had the decency to say so to my face. But oh no, I have to find out that you're letting a good thing die by reading an article on a , an article about a special report, which has been commissioned by statisticians.

Have you any idea how humiliating it is to be told by some random third party that you're about to be dumped? A random third party with PIE CHARTS??

I just hope you're happy now! *sobs*

Don't act the innocent with me, you know what I'm talking about. You know FULL WELL that Avail Intelligence - YES the E-commerce firm! - have a report saying that people don't read music reviews any more. AND you know that the reason they don't is because they're...they're...looking elsewhere for recommendations.

*liptremble*

It's so unfair. Haven't I been good to you? Haven't I tried my best? Don't I deserve better than to be told that eight out of ten music consumers prefer to get their reviews from iTunes and Facebook (that shameless floozy iLike is SUCH a homewrecking skank) than from professional review-erisers? Professional review-erisers like ME!

Isn't it just common decency to honestly tell me that 41% of people would trust the opinion of a member of their family, or a friend - these people aren't EXPERTS! I'M an EXPERT! I can TAKE CARE of you - before they would trust a reviewer? Did you think I would crumble? Did you think I would lay down and die? Oh no, not I.

I always thought you respected the fact that, even though we've had our differences, I would always try and be fair, thoughtful, and respectful of your taste.

It hasn't always been easy - now isn't the time to bring up Snow Patrol, or Madonna...or Little Man Tate...or the Enemy - but I thought you knew that I WANTED to like these people, but that I could never lie, or pretend to enjoy something, just to make you like me more. That's not my way, and it's one of the things I thought you liked about me. Now I see how wrong I was.

And if you didn't want me to provoke lively debate, so that you could could safely yell about what it is in the music that you love which makes you feel so good, or what elements of the songs you hate really get on your nerves, well, someone with a spine would have told me this to my face, rather than let me make a fool of myself, put myself out on a limb, risk exposing my feelings, time and again...

Someone brave would have been kind enough to say that no matter how much I want it to work out, there's just no future. THAT, I could've respected, but letting me find out by reading an article on , and then having to endure all the hateful comments underneath from people who I had always assumed were jealous of what we had...

Well, it just goes to show how badly I misjudged you.

Please leave, I wish to be alone now. It's safer that way...

Oh, you've gone.

Poop.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    To be fair, I'm not sure I'd call anything around here "professional." Not if it's had anything to do with me, anyway. So we're probably still alright!

    You're right, though, they could have at least left us comments saying how much they hated us.

  • Comment number 2.

    Anyone that has ever talked to me for more than 2 minutes would know that my favourite music recommendy thing is Pandora so yeah I'm one of those people, sry Fraser :P

    Itunes is grand 'cause it gives you free music too.

    But blogs are where you get the random info and the funnies so I don't think you're overly endangered just yet! ^_^

  • Comment number 3.

    Hmm...I don't know about that Drowned in Sound article. I love reading about music, just to see if people agree with me. When they don't, it's fun to see why.

    I very very rarely listen to bands that attach themselves to other bands on Myspace/Facebook. You know the kind, "OMG, you like so-and-so, you'll LOVE us. Plz take a listen." They're usually just garage bands and will forever remain that way (probably). I like to have professionals tell me why they like or don't like the song/album/band because they have more experience than regualr people like me. The article's argument would also apply to movie and book reviewers, but (I think) people still read that.

    Btw...I don't hate you guys!!!! :) You're very good at your jobs! This is one of the few sites I read on a regular basis....so be proud!

  • Comment number 4.

    Aww...that's lovely, Kim-ley.

    Proud to have you on board!

    *salutes*

  • Comment number 5.

    But if you like a song what does it matter if a professional doesn't?

    As for the Myspace stuff, I like looking into bands which are linked to other in the friends section. Usually it's bands they've toured with or worked with and so on or even just bands which they recommend. It can be interesting.

  • Comment number 6.

    I think the thing about music writing is that it *doesn't* matter whether a critic likes the song or not. However, music writing tells you things about the song that will often either pique your curiosity about it or tell you whether you'd like it or not, anyway.

    For instance, I am quite an avid reader of Rock Sound, 99% because of their AMAZING reviews section, which is easily the most extensive on the market. I respect the integrity of their writers a lot, even if I consistently disagree with some of them. Indeed, there are quite a few critics out there (across the whole critical spectrum, not just Rock Sound now) whose condemnation of an album instantly tells me I may well have an interest in it.

    The problem of the Drowned in Sound survey is that most people do not read music criticism or if they do, don't read it as a form of musical inspiration. It's a nerdy occupation to do that; hardly anyone scours the press for inspiration on new albums or songs to listen to; people find them through the radio and through their friends, most of the time. Written music criticism never was a totally populist thing, so it's sort of farcical of them to say that its in some way "died off."

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