The ChartBlog Slightly Annoying Email Questionnaire: The Subways
They say the first sign of madness is black hairs growing on the palms of your hands, and that the second sign is looking for them. Well, here's a third.
Ever since we started doing the ChartBlog Slightly Annoying Email Questionnaire (formerly the Top Of The Pops Slightly Annoying Email Questionnaire), one question has always managed to get a more shirty response than any of the others, and it's the one concerning what we have decided to call "new product".
Never mind that the same questionnaire gets sent to many different people in many different stages of their career, people who are attempting to promote their new album, new single, new tour, new DVD, new T-shirt range or perfume, and that we needed a catch-all term for whatever it is they wish to talk up...If you refer to what they do as 'product', they will find a way to act as if they are mildly miffed. It never fails. If they don't bristle, they're heading for madness. It's official.
Here's Charlotte from the Subways. See if you can spot her moment of near irritation. It's hidden!
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QUESTION 1: Where are you (as this is email, feel free to lie if you are somewhere dull)?
CHARLOTTE: Terra Nervas Festival, Bobital, France. Sitting in production as it's raining!
QUESTION 2: What are you doing (see question 1)?
CHARLOTTE: [left blank]
QUESTION 3: Tell us all about your new product...
CHARLOTTE: Our second album 'All Or Nothing' was released this week. It's a lot heavier than our first album in places and I think it has a quite a live feel to it. We were lucky enough to work with Butch Vig, who made everything sound amazing!
QUESTION 4: How long did it take you to type the answer to question 3?
CHARLOTTE: It took me longer to answer this one!
QUESTION 5: Really? Did it require any specialist training?
CHARLOTTE: [left blank]
QUESTION 6: Are you looking forward to a future where computers can just read your brainwaves rather than expecting you to use a keypad?
CHARLOTTE: Not really... What if my brainwaves were read wrong!
QUESTION 7: What would you like to be wearing right now?
CHARLOTTE: More jumpers, I'm freezing!
QUESTION 8: And what are you actually wearing?
CHARLOTTE: Denim shorts, black tights, white T-shirt, brown leather jacket.
QUESTION 9: What would you like the next person you see to be wearing?
CHARLOTTE: A space suit..
QUESTION 10: Why do you think Donald Duck wears a tunic but no trousers?
CHARLOTTE: He has his own style. No trousers are all the rage in duck world.
QUESTION 11: What musical training do you have? Do you play any interesting instruments?
CHARLOTTE: Are the flute and the bass recorder interesting? I used to play them at school.
QUESTION 12: If you and your most musical mates all had your instruments in front of you right now, but were instructed to play a song, any song, right now without conferring, what would it be?
CHARLOTTE: 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana.
QUESTION 13: Now be honest, did you cheat on question 12?
CHARLOTTE: First song that came into my head! My musical friends and I didn't actually try it!
QUESTION 14: What was the last thing you posted on your own message board?
CHARLOTTE: Info about our in-store performances last week.
QUESTION 15: That's nice...
CHARLOTTE: Well we have great fans, its good to keep them in the know.
QUESTION 16: Does this little bit of admin make you yearn for a simpler life without personal assistants?
CHARLOTTE: I think you mean with personal assistants, that would make that question make sense. I wouldn't like a personal assistant, I'm too controlling, and don't like people doing things for me.
QUESTION 17: One of the answers to these questions won't be interesting enough. Which one would you like to change?
CHARLOTTE: Probably "describe your new product"... Just listen to it. It's f* amazing!
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Here's the video to the Subways song 'Alright', which on their new album, as described above by Charlotte...
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Previous ChartBlog Annoying Email Questionnaire victims:
Go:Audio
Alphabeat
Tokio Hotel
Princess Superstar
The Sounds
Sadie Ama
Comment number 1.
At 10th Jul 2008, Kat wrote:ooh, 2 blanks, poor show!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)