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Dizzee Rascal - 'Dirtee Cash'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:53 UK time, Saturday, 21 November 2009

Dizzee Rascal

Imagine, if you can, a time when it seemed like every third record in the chart shared a common gene. And not just a lyrical thread or a particular way of processing the human voice so that it sounds like a singing robot nose, we're talking about a drum sample, one which starts with a "whooh!" and ends with a "yeah!", and back in the early '90s it was EVERYWHERE.

Every dance track used it, every UK hip hop track used it - and James Brown's funky drummer...them was crazy days, I tellya - hell, I'm pretty sure even Cliff Richard used it at one point. Possibly for a song about Christmas. It ended up being recycled so often that people were seen running up to every song which had not been afflicted and yelling "LEAVE, LEAVE NOW! THIS IS A PLAGUE-ZONE!"

Well, now it has mutated, is preparing to swarm, and Dizzee is the carrier. Earmasks at the ready, let's INVESTIGATE...

(. Which seems to have been directed by the Daily Mail.)

Now, it's important to note that the main strand of DNA running through this is 'Dirty Cash (Money Talks)' by the Adventures of Stevie V. That's where the singing chromasome comes from, as well as the rave-protein and the fake saxophone isotope.

But, see here...this new area which is made up of layers of complex lyrical flow, these dark patches of descriptive language about a world obsessed with money and fame. See how the helix twists into the shape of a lethally sharp tongue? That is what scientists are calling the Dizzee effect. It's this mutation which is giving the song its strength and resiliance, making it almost impossible to resist.

Luckily there is hope for humankind. It seems this particular infection is one which causes the human body no ill effects whatsoever. In fact, it could even be said to be beneficial, in the right circumstances.

All we need to do is monitor all new music for symptoms and keep the infected files away from all other music, and we should be fine. Vitamin C, anyone?

Four starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: November 23rd

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(Fraser McAlpine)

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