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Iyaz - 'So Big'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:10 UK time, Thursday, 16 September 2010

Iyaz

Romance is clearly a very subjective thing. Some people like to feel like the world has been stopped from spinning, clocks have been silenced, howler monkeys corked and all dog poo vaporised forever, just for them. Others prefer a quiet night in with a decent film and a stack of toffee popcorn.

So a song which tries to win over a potential new girlfriend just by insisting that there will be spending and enjoyment of equal or larger value to the size of the love on offer, with the proviso that the love in question is itself of significant volume, just to give a decent estimate of scale...well it's not going to please everyone.

People who don't like equations are going to be put right off, for starters.

(. It's dream-y.)

Now, it's easy to mock Iyaz's youth. He's got that Sean Kingston/Justin Bieber thing going on where young men are trying to talk to young women in song, in a way that suggests they are grown-up and mature enough to handle feelings of attraction and love. Even though they clearly still ARE young men, and young men are notorious for not having the first clue about how people or romance or words or songs which are not just four chords going around and around really work.

So it's not really his fault that the lyrics to this come across like a kind of slightly dewey-eyed Lynx ad. All he can really say about his girl is that she's got the kind of looks which make spending time with her feel like it isn't a chore (suh-WOON!). And that if Rihanna or Beyoncé were to try and chat him up, he'd totally knock them back, and stuff.

What? Why are you giggling? It could happen!

It's even worse in the video, because his idea of a perfect first date is to take his girl for a make-over, and to sensitively Be There while she tries on some dresses that he's totally going to buy for her. It's no trouble at all, what with her being so hot and all. He even gets his big fat bouncer mate to stop her from being harassed, then swoops in and drags her off to his car. AND has the gall to dress all this up as HER fantasy!

But the thing is, he IS a young man, and he IS talking to young women. Everyone in this conversation is in the dark as to what constitutes a romantic night out, and yes, for some girls, the idea of being whisked away and transformed and then delivered to a sparkly dinner location might be the best night ever. It'd be nice if he said something about what kind of a person she is in herself, but maybe he couldn't make it rhyme.

Oh and boys, if you're reading this with a worried eye...be aware that you don't HAVE to do any of this. Sometimes a bag of chips, a chat and a hand-holdy walk in the park is every bit as nice. And so long as you can get some chemistry going, and you don't EVER try that Rihanna/Beyoncé line in real life, you'll be just fine.

Two starsDownload: Out now


´óÏó´«Ã½ Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

"It's clear Iyaz has concocted himself a chart-topping formula: snappy hooks, danceable beats, and a touch of sensitivity."

"Three words: Credit. Crunch. Akon"

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    LOL! Thanks for the shout out Fraser!

    But yeah this, whilst less annoying than his previous singles, has absolutely no life what-so-ever, it's charmingly lifeless and is riddled with auto-tune.

    If only he'd decorated the song with the same island spice that made his previous hits what they were. Shame.

    2 stars.

  • Comment number 2.

    Can't believe I have to sit through reviews of Iyaz ,
    while I wait for a review of one of my favourite bands , The Manic Street Preachers .

    Come on Fraser get a move on , it was released on Monday and is gonna be a sizeable new entry on Sunday .

    It's not War ... Just The End Of Love .

  • Comment number 3.

    You've got your wish spirit

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