Jolly Ollie
Had a chat with my old sparring partner Ian Holloway yesterday. When I say sparring partner, I used to put some rather banal questions to him for his and he would bring them to life in his own inimitable way.
Anyway, we had a brief natter about the , where several papers have linked him to the job, but his lack of a pro-licence could scupper his chances.
This all seems a bit daft to me given his 13 years' experience, albeit with varying degrees of success. You wouldn't keep off the telly until he'd done his performing arts degree, would you? Although on second thoughts...
Anyway, turns out if Ollie had gone into management two years' earlier he'd have been spared all this hassle.
He explained: "In the old days they used to give you your badges after 10 years in football management but they stopped that after I'd done eight!"
Shame for Ollie but good job the old rule still applies - after all, who's going to tell Sir Alex he's got to go back to school before he can take charge of another game?
Holloway also talked about his forthcoming Christmas stocking-filler, 'The Little Book of Ollie-isms' which is published next month.
Included are the classics: "I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season", "If my auntie had balls, she'd be my uncle" and of course the legendary comment used to describe an ugly win for his old side QPR:
"To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee."
I know when he left Plymouth in acrimonious circumstances, a number of fans turned on him, but I have to say Ollie is one of the nicest fellas I have met, taking time out while preparing for a crucial end-of-season game at Leicester to call me up and inquire after my baby daughter, who was born in April with a few problems. Top man.
Finally, an apology to my other half for yesterday's entry about Tour de France stage winner Mark Cavendish. I apparently patronised his (and her) homeland the Isle of Man and can only offer my profuse apologies. I have been there on numerous occasions and it is a magical place. Is that enough to keep my dinner out of the dog?
I am a journalist with ´óÏó´«Ã½ Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. .
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