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I am NOT a bad boyfriend

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Aled | 13:02 UK time, Wednesday, 23 April 2008

The emotive subject of how badly I treat my partner came up again today. I don't mean a couple of texts, I mean dozens if not close to a hundred or so texts. They seem to suggest I can't sit in the hot seat being the link between the callers and the expert if I might not have run my relationship in a way they agree with.

Ironically this will probably be a rather helpful example of the message I imagine will run through most of Sunday's show. That's the message that when it comes to relationships there is no right or wrong or strict guidelines in what makes a successful one. Just because living in each other's pockets works for one couple doesn't mean it's what will work for the next couple. What's in fact much more important is what's right for the couple in hand - and that's where friction begins.

If a couple doesn't see eye to eye or either person is not happy with how things are done that's where the tensions begin. The best solution (I'm sure we'll find) will be to talk things through, compromise and a lot of hard work. It's when one or both sides CAN'T do that or worse WON'T do that, that things start to break down.

On Sunday we'll be taking calls from people who are in that position, some of them will have things starting to go wrong with their relationship, some will be in the darkest stages of their relationship, for others it'll be too late and they'll be more concerned with how to get over their loved ones. We might even be able to stop some going down that path by stamping out things like checking their partner's texts or e-mails, second guessing them or just picking on them because things about their partners annoy them.

None of those apply to me and boyfriend. He knows me, and I know him and what we do works for us. We're quite low maintenance and when it comes to birthday dinners he'd prefer to put it back a few days and have me there giving him all the attention he deserves and not worrying about some photoshoot in aid of a cancer charity.

But then that's what's good for us, and why we work. It's not right for everyone, but then, I'd never judge.

If you're unhappy or need some advice (from our relationship expert Paula Hall) call me on Sunday night after 10pm on 08700 100 100 or in the meantime check out the advice pages at bbc.co.uk/surgery

Aled
xx

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    Think Aled would be the perfect agony uncle- sympathetic and understanding to your face full of tea and sympathy. Then straight on the phone to his or your mates dishing the dirt and ridicule. Am I right ?

  • Comment number 2.

    I feel so bad for you Aled that you feel you have to justify your relationship with your boyfriend to millions of people who are judging you when they don't even know you.

    Like you say, what matters is that you are both happy in your relationship, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. xx

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