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[Mark's Brilliant Blog] The Moment Phillip's Little Heart Broke

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Mark Padley | 16:38 UK time, Wednesday, 8 April 2009

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I've got some great news. I've been asked by the council to be a Community Guardian - I've got a badge and everything. Basically my main duties revolve around reporting fly tipping and informing on suspected benefit cheats. Rich pickings round here! I feel just like Columbo. I've even dug out my dad's old mac.

I'm off to Phillip's bail hostel tonight to go undercover. I'm going to put a pullover over my mac to keep it on the down low. If you're lying on your council tax form about the number of employed occupants or if you've just chucked yet another bed in the back alleys get ready to taste justice. Dave, can you see if Crimewatch are interested in a bit of crossover?

Editor's Note: I'm not even going to begin listing reasons why that isn't going to happen Mark. No. - David

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