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I am currently on a train travelling back from London-Upon-Thames. I wouldn't class this as one of my top 10 train journeys. The mad dash from the Tube didn't help, or the man with the largest amount of luggage in history blocking the escalator.

The fact that every ticket collection machine was broken only added to my misery, as did the bloke in the ticket office who seemed completely unfazed by the concept of time, refusing to speed up at any point and even stopping occasionally to sip his tea!

Despite all that, I managed to make the train with seconds to spare, only to drop my bag of cashew nuts down the gap between train and platform. Once the nut-based rage subsided, I realised that, to cap off a top travelling experience, I had also left my umbrella on the Underground.

Over the years, I think my "lost umbrella" to "train journey" ratio stands at about 1:8. I am considering constructing some sort of elaborate cranial harness that an umbrella can be clipped into to help address such alarming statistics.

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Blog brethren I need to apologise - it's been too long. Let me give you three reasons for my absence...

1. I was always going to go dark over Christmas and New Year.
2. I've only just come out of mourning after losing Celebrity Mastermind by a point (yes I was asked to go on even though both words make me a little uncomfortable).
3. A horse ate my homework.

Anyway, it's nice to be back and the footballing landscape has changed a little while I momentarily rested my blogging boots. Manchester City seem to have lost their aura, Manchester United and Arsenal have brought back the old boys, is weaving his magic again and !

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