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Just when thought it couldn't get any worse... he's got a Tory MP for his new next-door neighbour.

Mr Brown didn't always get on with his neighbours during his time in Downing Street, particularly when he was Chancellor and Tony and Cherie Blair lived next door.

Now it appears that when he moves into his new home in Westminster, he'll have Cardiff North MP next door should he run out of milk of an evening.

Mr Evans is one of five parliamentary retreads - MPs returning to Westminster some years after their parliamentary careers were rudely interrupted by the electorate.

Some things, he says, haven't changed. New MPs have to wait weeks for offices and are currently hot-desking in disused committee rooms or squatting in veteran MPs' offices.

Mr Evans has been operating out of the coffee shop in Portcullis House, the £250m office block built while he was between constituencies. Portcullis House appears to have the only decent wi-fi signal in that part of Westminster, allowing MPs to use their new laptops and discover how many hundreds of e-mails they have awaiting them.

New MPs are not short of advice. They are given leaflets on everything from taking the oath - you can't be paid until you've done that - to how to claim expenses.

MPs can take the oath in Welsh but must take it in English first. There's a Welsh Bible for MPs to swear on, should they wish.

There is also plenty of advice available on parliamentary language. MPs usually call members of the same party "honourable friends".

So will now embrace as "honourable friends" and vice versa?

"The best I can manage is honourable colleague," sniffs one Tory MP.

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