Loneliness
Loneliness isn鈥檛 just about being alone, loneliness is isolation brought on through no fault of the person involved.
There are so many different kinds of loneliness. Loneliness of heart and loneliness of the soul.
Loneliness of the heart can be fixed, but when it goes deeper, it鈥檚 sometimes very hard for the person to accept that fact that they鈥檙e lonely.
A lot of people are negligent in self preservation. You鈥檙e your own best psychologist. But analysing yourself doesn鈥檛 make it easier for other people to understand you because of not wanting to admit that you鈥檙e lonely.
Some people are anti-social without meaning to be. It鈥檚 far easier to shut the door and feel that you鈥檙e coping ok, but also you put up barriers without realising you鈥檙e doing it.
I鈥檓 lucky enough that I鈥檝e got people to talk to but there are times when you just hide away and you become kind of withdrawn and introverted. On the outside you show a bubbly personality but it鈥檚 a kind of defence mechanism.
I know of a couple who are lonely to such a degree that in a way it goes unnoticed.
The man has Alzheimer鈥檚 and is to all intents and purposes happy in his own little world. Although his wife has a son and daughter living in the block, there is very little social contact with the outside world.
I think when you鈥檝e been together for such a long time and in a sense you鈥檝e already lost the partner you鈥檙e going to lose anyway, it is hard to imagine the emptiness that must exist within the lady鈥檚 mind.
Being a block rep I come in to contact with elderly people who constantly remind me just how fortunate I am, because a lot of them have no living relatives and meet very few friends.
There are people in wheelchairs that are completely housebound, some in their 80鈥檚. who because of age or lack of knowledge are unable to use modern technology to enhance the art of communication.
A lady who lives on the third floor of our block was brought up in a privileged household with servants and such like, she believes that Block reps should be on hand 24/7 to deal with any problems she might have. It鈥檚 not entirely her fault but it creates difficulties because although you know she鈥檚 very lonely there has to be a cut off period.
There鈥檚 no sure fire way of dealing with loneliness except just trying to be there for people when you鈥檙e needed. You can visit psychologist鈥檚 or whatever but when you walk through your front door and there鈥檚 only you there. You can only communicate with yourself.
Yes loneliness is usually about the person and how he/she deals with life rather than the circumstances.
I have friends who most definitely prefer to live alone - they gain immense pleasure from it, but they are not lonely. They socialise talk on the phone chat on the internet - but at home prefer their own company apart from the odd cat or bird!
Loneliness as I see it is a 'feeling' - it's an expression of how we see the world and what we believe we need out of the world.
We can be lonely because we don't now how to communicate with others, or are always suspicious of others intentions. I have an 80 something friend who's wife died some years ago and he is never lonely. He makes an effort and is a very sociable man.Even has a lady friend but prefers they live separately.
Lonely people can certainly be sad people - they often don't know how to reach out. They sometimes expect others to continually reach in!
And I definitely think there should be tonnes of courses being run by councils, welfare agencies etc on "turning loneliness around" But how would you get them there in the first place?!
Loneliness can arise from desperation and mistrust after a tiring journey of life, alongside which those good values were relentlessly denied and the experience resulted in hurt and pain. Hopes turned out to be illusions.
One is likely doubt about things and people he/she comes across in the future. Heavy pressure keeps on threatening the existence of the individual.
Lonliness casts shadow upon human life. It kills. While living alone embraces more positive factors, one can concentrate better or do creative things.
We all need to have the sunshine of soul shine through the darkness and the mist. We need healing.