Out For Lunch
The truth is, I get a bit crabby if I'm forced to skip a meal. It happened this afternoon when I accompanied producer Deirdre Leitch to in Drumnadrochit. I was her partner for another radio skills workshop for pupils and the forty minute journey along the shoreline of Loch Ness was so entrancing that we both forgot to stop for food.
To be fair, they offered us lunch within minutes of us signing the school's visitor book, but we both declined so that we could get on with setting up our backdrops and other presentation equipment.
But then, after two minutes of manual labour, I realised that I was hungry. I warned Deirdre that this was a dangerous thing. There was every chance that I could become irritable and start throwing small children out of windows. She looked into my eyes and knew that this was true.
So we ventured along corridors, following the smell of school dinners until we reached the canteen. That's when I saw the huge serving tray full of moist, glistening, golden macaroni cheese. I pulled out a handful of change, wiped the drool from my lips and pointed to the pasta.
"I'll have that, " I said, "whatever the price...I'll pay it."
"Sorry, " said a woman with a big spoon, "It's gone."
I blinked twice. Could my hunger be causing me to hallucinate? No.
"I mean the pasta, " I explained, "that stuff there..."
The spoon lady brandished a small notebook and explained that the remaining macaroni had been "pre-ordered". We'd fallen foul of a catering system that was beyond our ken.
"Oh well, " I said, trying to disguise my disappointment with a hollow laugh, "any chance of a cup of tea and a biscuit?"
Another spoon-wielding woman appeared by her colleague's side to explain that this would be possible, but only if I fancied a stroll into the village and gave my custom to a local tea-shop.
Just as I was about to run screaming through the school, a senior member of staff came to our rescue. He escorted us to the staff-room and poured us big steaming mugs of tea.
The workshop went well, the pupils were fantastic and, best of all....
we got muffins to eat at playtime.
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