Opening Day (Part Two)
There had been whispers, of course, but no one was quite sure which VIP guest had been invited to open the building. Perhaps the motorcycle cops positioned at strategic junctions around Govan should have given it away. Certainly local taxi drivers 鈥 who know everything including the meaning of life - were convinced that a 鈥渂ig politician鈥 was on his way. With John Prescott out of the picture that could only mean one thing, but security measures ensured that nothing could be confirmed until the very moment that Gordon Brown strolled on to the third floor landing of Pacific Quay and took his seat in front of the 鈥済reat and the good鈥 who had been invited to attend the official opening of 大象传媒 Scotland鈥檚
With staff watching from the surrounding balconies, Top Suits from the 大象传媒 performed, what they described as the 鈥渨arm-up acts鈥 Among them was our Director General, Mark Thompson who promised a and suggested that programmes and services would be switched north from other parts of the 大象传媒. That, he said, included network television, network radio and digital media. There was much talk of our state-of-the art High Definition TV studios, which will provide crystal clear images for viewers and a jobs bonanza for make-up artists. For the sake of my career I should add that our D.G. truly is a great man and handsome too. Love that beard. Alas I have been prevented from telling him this myself because of the new brown-nose exclusion zones that have been introduced for senior management.
Then the Prime Minister was invited to speak from his own special podium. He looked relaxed and in very good humour and got appreciative laughter when he recalled his early career in journalism at Scottish Television. There, he said, the stress was on honesty, accuracy and truth 鈥 the very qualities you had to give up when you entered politics. He also described how he was instructed to deal with calls from angry viewers. You had to listen carefully, take detailed notes of their complaints and always ask them for the number of their television licence. "They tended to hang up at that point", he quipped.
In truth this is a very old joke, but for the sake of my M.B.E is should add that it was very well delivered that with this kind of material Gordon Brown can have the morning slot on 大象传媒 Radio Scotland the next time Fred MacAulay wants a break.
Of course G.B. couldn鈥檛 resist making several references to the role of the British Broadcasting Corporation in British life. This was potentially awkward territory given the current constitutional debate, but in the main his speech was warmly received and when I scanned the balconies above I could see only one man who wasn鈥檛 clapping. He looked like plain-clothed detective and I guess they鈥檙e not allowed to applaud in case they suddenly need the use of their hands for other purposes. You know, martial arts, card tricks and so on.
Then came the only moment of tension as the PM was invited to throw a switch which would illuminate a glass plaque and a bank of display units on each of level of the building. Given some of the teething troubles we鈥檝e been having with the new computers there was a slight fear that this might not go to plan and that he would have to switch it on and off again, reboot it twice and then call the helpline number.
Happily, that didn鈥檛 happen. I can report that here at 大象传媒 Scotland the lights are on and everyone鈥檚 home.
