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JZ's Diary

Head of ´óÏó´«Ã½ Radio Scotland, Jeff Zycinski, with a sneak preview of programme plans and a behind-the-scenes glimpse of his life at the helm.

Photograph of Jeff Zycinski.

Imaginary Friends Reunited

  • Jeff Zycinski
  • 8 Feb 08, 03:08 PM

I like to keep my finger on the pulse of modern media and give you the heads-up on the next big thing. Social networking websites are all the rage so it’s only a matter of time before someone invents one for those make-believe mates we knew in childhood. But be warned; if an old pretend playmate gets in touch with you, don’t be seduced into the idea of a reunion in some quiet café.


BILLY: So this is weird isn’t it? How many years has it been? Thirty-five?

BOBO: (Stubbing his cigarette into a fried egg) Thirty-six years come your next birthday. Remember that party?

BILLY . That’s right, my tenth birthday party! Mummy said that was the cut-off point. She said the other children would laugh at me if I invited you to the party. She said I could never talk to you again.

BOBO: I had to stand there watching you all stuff your faces with cake.

BILLY. Fluffy purple bears don’t eat cake. You eat purple grapes.

BOBO. Yeah, I forgot. Not that it matters given that I’ve eaten precisely nothing for thirty five years. I mean did you even give me a second’s thought in all that time?

BILLY: Of course I did. I really missed you…at first.

BOBO: And now?

BILLY: Well, you know…I’ve moved on…I’ve grown up.

BOBO: Hah!

BILLY: What does that mean.

BOBO: Nothing. Nothing at all. But tell me…do you have any real friends these days?

BILLY: Yes, dozens and dozens. You ought to see my Facebook account.

BOBO: But anyone you’ve actually met?

BILLY: Let me think….hmmm….nope.

BOBO: So Billy, where do we go from here?

BILLY: How about the fruit shop? I could get some grapes and feed you.

BOBO: You’re crazy.

BILLY: No, Bobo. Just lonely.

BOBO: Not any more Billy-boy. I’m back!

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