This Fat Ugly Beast Must Lose Weight...And The Dog's On A Diet Too
Our Lhasa Apso, Rascal, is getting too fat. The vet was none too happy with us. She didn't exactly give us a row, but there was an icy tone in her voice when she explained that he was two kilos overweight and asked us if we had been feeding him tidbits from the table.
"Sometimes he gets little bits of pasta, " said a shame-faced Mrs Zed, being so economical with the truth that you would have thought they were rationing it.
"Yeah and sometimes I chuck him a leg of lamb." I might have added, but didn't.
The vet was right, of course. It is our fault. We've not even been exercising him as much as we ought to. Not unless you count those leaps he does at breakfast time when we're eating bacon.
So he's weighing in at over nine kilos when he ought to be closer to seven. We've signed him up for a 'weight clinic' which is a bit like a Fat Club for dogs. He has to go back regularly to sit on the scales. If things don't improve I expect the authorities will be alerted and there will be a dawn raid by the SSPCA.
I've decided, in the spirit of man-dog solidarity, to join him on the diet. If Rascal can lose two kilos, surely I can easily lose ten times that. I'll race him to that target, in fact, and keep you up to date on our progress.
This will mean an end to nibbling away at left-overs and licking the children's greasy plates. No more little bone biscuits before bedtime or being allowed to chew away at a pig's ear as a special treat.
Oh and Rascal will have to cut that out too.
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