Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
What's going on in this picture? The young gentleman is pointing a hand gun - a gesture, rather than an actual weapon - at David Cameron's back (aren't there rules of duels that frown on those who draw when their opponent's back is turned?)
"SO DO YOU STILL WANT TO HUG A HOODIE, DAVE?" asks the Daily Mail.
"RESPECT?" says the Guardian.
But leave it to the Sun - rather more down with ver kids - to eventually speak to the lad in question after early editions appealed to readers to ring in if they knew him. And the lad the Sun calls "jobless Ryan" resolves a burning question in Monitor Towers as to what the gesture is actually called.
"I raised my hand and fingers in the shape of a gun - it’s what we call a 'click bang' around here. I was doing it for a laugh and a buzz."
But he is not the only one pictured using a gun gesture. The Guardian runs a snap a Morrissey pointing a "click bang" at his own head. He's withdrawn from the race to pen the UK's Eurovision song, you see, and it must be quite a blow.
Meanwhile, the Financial Times runs a "bonus issue" of its glossy Saturday supplement How To Spend It. For anyone unfamiliar with this mag, it does what it says on the tin, packed to the gunwales with features and ads for products so expensive that Paper Monitor, on a mere mortal's wage, does not even recognise half of the brands on offer.
Little wonder, then, that the tagline is "It's time to unburden your payload". A burden? One's heart does not bleed.