Paper Monitor
10:55 UK time, Thursday, 29 March 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Gambling – like it or not, is one thing to be said for it is its rich pun potential. So when the Lords threw out the government's plans for a super casino, on Wednesday evening, the ´óÏó´«Ã½'s 10 O'Clock News immediately raised the stakes... with "all bets are off".
Could the papers do better? Paper Monitor has teamed up with its stablemate and loyal friend Punorama to cast judgement:
Full marks to the Daily Mail for its offering – "A busted flush" – pithy and to the point.
The Daily Mirror and Sun exhibit a disappointing show of unanimity – both giving us "Casino" with the "no" in a different shade of grey to the "Casi". Frankly boys, it would have had far more impact on a colour page, but the Sun at least adds some drop shadow to the last two letters.
"All bets off as Labour's casino law kicked out" runs the Express offering. Hmm… rather derivative.
"Supercasino plan is deal a new blow in narrow Lords defeat" – the Times. Not a classic by any means but marks are awarded for the fact it’s the only quality paper to invoke a pun, although the FT, which goes big on the story, does have a line about casino operators going "back to square one". Could it be a very weak allusion to roulette?
Paper Monitor, meanwhile, is mildly irked by the patronising tone of Metro's take on Faye Turney, one of the British sailors captured by the Iranians.
"A prisoner, a pawn – but above all a mother". Er, did they forget that she is also a dedicated career woman? And what about the other 14 captives – are none of them fathers?
Finally, it's back to the Apprentice. The waiting is over, and the Mirror has once again signed up Sir Alan for his exclusive nuggets of wisdom vis-a-vis the latest victim, in this case Andy "I'll give you 110% Sir Alan" Jackson.
Today's lesson from Big Al is "position, position, position" – the point being that if you're going to shift something, you've got to find the right location from which to do it.
It's maybe worth banking this thought and at the same time noting Sir Alan's tendency to contradict himself in the course of a series, or across two series even. Such as last night when he said that anyone trying to play up their humble roots in a bid to compare themselves to Sir Alan would get short shrift. Er, wasn't that specifically what Sir Alan said he liked about last year's winner Michelle Dewberry?
The 
