Your Letters
15:35 UK time, Friday, 16 March 2007
Before the invention of the light bulb did cartoonists draw candles over heads to signify bright ideas?
Darren, Leicester
Re: the article on - it is bad enough finding a correctly punctuated card in the shops, but for the ´óÏó´«Ã½ to be so sloppy about punctuation is a huge disappointment. It is a day for mothers and thus "mothers' day". Do editors do anything at the ´óÏó´«Ã½?
Ian, Southampton, UK
Monitor note: We politely draw your attention to the on Mother’s Day.
The section has an entry from Adrian with a picture of a seal. One question - is Culling his name or his job?
Keith Shepherd, Dartford
Re - I started to scan the other R.I.Ps when I noticed something. You claim that the Cadbury Flake Girl is deceased, yet, if I am not mistaken, has she not been recently resurrected? Is there a special procedure for such an occurrence, or do we just accept it? We did mourn its passing did we not... so should we not celebrate its return?
James, Stirling, Scotland
Jacob asks for a more useful measure of clouded leopards, said to "grow as large as small panthers" (Thursday letters). A panther - according to my dictionary - is another name for a leopard. So that means that the clouded leopard is a small leopard. No help I know, but fully within the Monitor's rules of pedantry.
Andrew, Malvern, UK
Jacob, a panther can grow between one to two meters, or about 3'4" to 6'7" in length. Putting this in more manageable terms, assuming the largest clouded leopard is equivalent to the smallest panther, about one meter, that gives us the length of a clouded leopard at 1/33 Blue Whales, or 1/126,000 Hadrian’s Walls.
Matt, Liverpool
Would Jacob accept "nearly the height of a Routemaster Bus tyre"?
Dickie, New York
How about 0.0000000000001 x Wales?
Rob, Birmingham
Jayne asks for light to be shed on the headline "some sex, an asthmatic donkey and a tribunal" (Thursday letters). It’s a package deal for hen and stag parties wishing to visit Blackpool. For a few pounds more they get a commemorative Asbo to take home too.
Bryan Poor, Oxford
Paper Monitor, I am distressed that you have seen fit to give us the papers' views on television, which lots of people do not choose to have. What is The Apprentice, I seem to remember some hoo-hah about it, but have never seen it. Nor have I ever seen The Office or Little Britain or Big Brother or any of the other programmes you drone on about endlessly. Humph.
Carol, Portugal
Dear the ´óÏó´«Ã½,
It has come to my attention that there are often pictures of attractive women next to an article on the main page. This is all very well, but frequently when I have manipulated my mouse into selecting said article, expecting to see a larger picture of the woman in question, there is none to be found. This is a bounder's trick. Please remedy post-haste.
Sincerely, Brigadier-General Smith-Smythe-Smith (retd)
Simon asked if the male and female anatomy is different at the back (Thursday letters). If he doubts it he should try watching Marilyn Monroe catching the train in Some Like it Hot.
Kip, Norwich, UK
I keep getting told that I look like Bill Oddie. How about other Monitor readers? (Photo can be supplied.)
Martin, Stevenage, UK
Chocolate mini-egg, anyone? I've got a tube full of them.
Sue, Borough, London
Monitor note: Yes, please!
The 
