Paper Monitor
11:29 UK time, Friday, 11 May 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
There’s only one story in town today – a man whose hair has not fared well over the past decade is leaving office before the damage becomes too much.
Everyone splashes on it, except for the Express group newspapers.
The Daily Express carries it on the front page while trying to appear not to, shoehorning a couple of lines of Tony Blair’s departure into its splash about interest rates rising.
But that’s as nothing compared with the Daily Star. Lead story: Kylie denies romance. Main picture: “B Bro Aisleyne” makes feeble attempt to cover breasts with hand while wearing excessive quantity of costume jewellery. Second picture: Win this vintage VW camper van.
Surely the Star doesn’t want its readers to be totally oblivious to Tony’s departure. But what’s this? They have found space inside. On page eight. And it’s the angle the other papers have embarrassingly missed.
“66-1 BLAIR TO BE X-FACTOR JUDGE”
It’s punditmania in all the papers, as editors flog their columnists into saying something that hasn’t already been said a thousand times before.
One intones: “The country has benefited tremendously from his leadership, courage and drive.”
Peter Mandelson? Polly Toynbee? Melanie Phillips? No, its Sun page 3 girl Danni, 19, from Coventry.
But for those readers who are prepared to hunt through all the Blair-blah, there are gems to be found.
A number of the papers, including the Daily Mail, highlight the plight of 20-year-old Paula Ceely who watched in horror as a train destroyed her Renault Clio. The culprit: a cunning satnav device that led her onto a level crossing.
Unfortunately the killjoys at the Daily Telegraph spoil the story by revealing the crossing did have a rather large sign. Paper Monitor finds its sympathy drifting towards the train driver.
As for headline of the day, the Express nails it. Easily.
“You pay for Britain’s most violent thug to have designer specs.”
Blair’s Britain, eh?
The 
