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Paper Monitor

13:32 UK time, Thursday, 25 October 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The devil is in the details. Quite literally in the Daily Mail, with a front page photograph of a burning house in California that looks uncannily like a fire-licked face. And in the front garden are carved pumpkins and a flapping scarecrow. It'll be a tricky Halloween in Malibu this year.

Meanwhile, on a lighter note, the Times digs out several images that cause double-takes.

One is of an advert on a back of a bus for Hampshire police. A closer look reveals perhaps why one of the PCs pictured looks quite so pleased with himself - it's not just because he's helping make "your neighbourhood safer", as the ad tagline runs. It's because (snigger) the exhaust pipe nestles in his groin area. The People columnist notes that the constable in question believes it has "raised his profile". And then some...

And before 007 raised his profile into the stratosphere, a young Sean Connery posed for life drawing classes in Edinburgh. And the paper reproduces one of these early portraits. What draws the eye is not his long muscular legs, toned chest, chiselled jaw nor (pause for breath) shapely buttocks. It is the fact the article describes what is clearly a rudimentary thong as a "towel decorously draped across his lower body".

The Daily Telegraph described the same garment as "skimpy trunks", which is closer to the mark.

Paper Monitor will now retire to a darkened room to recover.

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