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Paper Monitor

10:54 UK time, Wednesday, 12 December 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor has deemed that this be the day to celebrate the art of the sub-editor, namely the punning headline.

And not just the good puns but the bad puns, the really rubbish pieces of punnery that you鈥檇 be ashamed to admit you had anything to do with. For this is what the world of newspapers is all about 鈥 the brave men and women who bash out a headline even when they can鈥檛 really think of a good one.

In the Sun today, the nexus of quippery, there are some stinkers.

Michael Schumacher drove his own taxi so 鈥淪chu the heck is driving that cab鈥. That is because 鈥淪chu鈥 sounds a little bit like 鈥渨ho鈥.

Kylie is joining the cast of Doctor Who so 鈥淓XTERMINOGUE鈥. Because Daleks are well known for saying 鈥渆xterminate鈥, which has an 鈥渕鈥 in it, and Minogue also has an 鈥渕鈥 in it. Ah, what erudition, what elan, what brio, what panache.

But there is some redemption when it comes to the extraordinary wacky-animal-photo-of-the-day, a number of trout jumping 3ft into an 8in water pipe. 鈥淟ET鈥橲 GET TROUT OF HERE鈥.

There is also goodness in the Daily Mirror. Piece on playgrounds to improve life for children? 鈥淭HE SWINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER鈥.

But there is also badness. For legal reasons we cannot offer the context of 鈥淒AY OF THE KAYAKAL鈥. But really. Paper Monitor wants to ask the sub responsible: 鈥淗ow can you sleep at night?鈥

Away from the world of puns, hats off to some smooth writing in the Times in its account of frizzy-haired 鈥淭V funnyman鈥 Alan Davies having an altercation with a tramp and biting his ear.

鈥淢r Davies, a vegetarian, was accused of sinking his teeth into Paul McElfatrick outside the Groucho Club in Soho, Central London, last week.鈥

Spot the key piece of information.

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