Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
When do you begin to suspect that a paparazzo photograph of two minor celebs is not the aggressive intrusion that you might normally expect?
Perhaps when one of the minor celebs in question is grinning and wearing a Roman legionary's helmet. Paper Monitor shall not offer the oxygen of publicity to these two celebs by naming them.
Suffice it to say, one of them is an unusually-named Lib Dem MP for a Welsh constituency, the other is co-performer of the popular music "hit" titled The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum).
The Daily Mail is not happy about their attention seeking, making the very serious allegation that they supplied their very posed-looking Roman holiday snaps to a picture agency who then distributed them.
The Mail shows its disapproval by running the photos all over page three of the paper. There, that'll tell those publicity hounds.
Over in the Daily Express, there's a response to the Mail winning daily newspaper of the year last week. A loud blurb with a giant picture of a 10 pence piece proclaims that the Express is 40p compared with the Mail's 50p. It follows it up with "...AND TEN TIMES BETTER". But how is this measured? Any suggestions can be added using the comments button below or send us a letter using the form on the right.
Elsewhere, more from the strange "to-blob-or-not-to-blob" debate. On page seven of the Sun, the faces of Kate and Gerry McCann's twins Sean and Amelie are blurred out.
But go to the 12-page pullout special on Madeleine and you see both twins, faces completely unobscured. Very mysterious.
Over in the Daily Mirror there must be a small prize for a headline about Torvill and Dean backing an anti-racism drive that starts "Skate not hate".
Paper Monitor bets no-one's thought of that before.