Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
In the Chinese philosophical concept of yin and yang, "darkness" and "light" are cast as diametrically opposed and yet correlating parts of the same phenomenon.
So in the British concept of the news there must also be this light and dark - in the form of the Daily Star and the Independent.
On the front of the Indy there is a full-page on the threat to accountable planning procedures and a blurb for "Making of a monster - the young Mugabe".
To keep the world in balance this serious front must have its antithesis on the front of the Star in the form of the headline "BB STEPH serves up a pair of aces!" and in the blurb "WIMBLE-BUM Hot Bot Special".
In the yin there is a page 8 lead headline "Prisoners charged 'extortionate' rates to call their families". In the yang there is the page 9 headline "GIVE BRIT JOBS TO BRITISH WORKERS".
The theme continues in the letters pages. Sample from the Indie: "Roberta Blackman-Woods should be applauded for bringing the problem of licensing strip clubs to the attention of Parliament." Sample from the Star's Text Maniacs: "2 all idiotic women u idiots always moan about men dnt treat you right wel DNT GO 4 LOOKS."
But what is this? There are texts with all the vowels and consonants included upsetting the balance. Scutch from Cleator Moor writes: "Mugabe is butchering his people whilst Western leaders try to sort out more important problems, like the price of oil. What a sad greedy world we live in."
Thank God for "ne1 tell me why I can do the difficult sudokus in 5-10 mins yet often struggle wiv gentle 1s?!".
So harmony in the universe is maintained.