Paper Monitor
A belated service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Paper Monitor does apologise for the late-running of this service, but with the days lengthening out, a sleep-in and a bit of skiving was in order. D'oh! Just gone and forgotten the first rule of skiving. And the second. Don't. Talk. About. Skiving.
Hey-ho, too late now. And a happy morning it was too, eating popcorn and singing along to 007's rendition of SOS in the local cinema.
And it was on a promise from the Daily Telegraph that Paper Monitor ditched work and headed to the flicks. Only it get the day wrong. And the cinema. And the film.
Because the Telegraph went to see The Dark Knight, the latest instalment of the Batman franchise. As did the Times. And the rest of them.
OK, Heath Ledger's turn as The Joker - a character Paper Monitor finds disturbing even in the cartoon-like POW! BIFF! TV series of its youth - sounds like it blisters its way off the screen and hard-wires itself into one's terror cortex.
So good is the late star said to be in the film that he's been granted the sad-eyed slot on the front page of the Independent.
But Paper Monitor refuses to feel cowed by being stood up by its Fleet St chums. As a sensitive soul, probably better to awake tunelessly singing "So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me SOS..." rather than being jerked from slumber by dreams of a scary clown.