Paper Monitor
12:48 UK time, Thursday, 2 October 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Excuse Paper Monitor for momentarily rewinding, but so consuming was yesterday's discussion of the finer points of Natasha Kaplinksy's that it forgot to mention the Daily Mail's gloriously random page three feature "15 glorious things you can still do for free".
Some of the choicest suggestions...
"1.Understanding the credit crunch is no walk in the park. So why not take a real walk in the park instead.
"2. On your walk in the park, why not watch children play their impromptu football games? It's often more entertaining than their professional counterparts. And you'll never see a bad or violent tackle."
Eh? Which park have you been sauntering through recently? And what happened to Broken Britain?
Here it is, on the front of today's Sun, just above a picture of David Cameron dressed as Bob the Builder. (Don't ask). "Tory leader on Broken Britain".
Meanwhile, the Mirror is going big with its annual antidote to Broken Britain - the Pride of Britain awards. Given the paper's leftish sympathies, does it deliberately schedule this annual awards ceremony to coincide with the Tory leader's keynote speech?
Talking of which, the Times highlights how Mr Cameron plumped for the safety of the lectern after last year's note-less speech. In doing so, the Tory leader sought to "emulate the Conservative's best speechmaker, William Hague... who uses a technique that minimises the need to look at the text, enabling him to maintain eye-contact with the audience, particularly at the beginning and the end of sentences."
Always on a self-improvement mission, Paper Monitor is hooked. What is this mysterious technique? Alas, the Times shows itself to be just a tease - revealing nothing more about Hague's intriguing technique.
Time to seek advice elsewhere...
"11. Then there's music. Never in history has there been so much variety for everyone to enjoy at the click of a radio switch.
"15. With the frosty, clear nights just around the corner, you can enjoy one of nature's most wondrous freebies. Just look up and enjoy the sight of a thousand twinkling stars."
The 
