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This is not what I had in mind when I asked for a cracking costume!

All Obama's horses and all Obama's men, Couldn't put John McCain back together again

Humpty Dumpty was in the middle of a gracious concession speech before the unfortunate event.

We'll miss George W. Bush. He was a good egg.

Let no-one say that in our great country an egg cannot fulfill its potential .

I therfore announce my intention to run for the Republican Party nomination for the 2012 Presidebtial Election.

When they offered me a Shakespearean role, I thought they said Hamlet, not Omelette

Isn't this what they mean by a shellsuit?

Oh relax........I've sat here many times.....

The critics muttered that Gok was losing his touch.

Next week I'm going to be in Omelette. Prince of Denmark.

I eggist, therefore I am.

I used to be shy - I took up acting to get me out of my shell.

George W. Bush was deeply shocked when his air-bag went off whilst driving with his mouth open

So I got out of bed and apologised to the chicken.

That answer your question?

Drat that Campaign for Plain English. I thought they were listing examples of the roles I was applying for as e.g., not egg.

I used to be a Banker, you know.

George W. Bush, now grossly overweight, blames all those Ferraro Rochers at embassy luncheons

Arsene Wenger reveals the new Arsenal kit aimed at protecting his players from "overly aggressive opposition"

you come here in the day of my daughter's halloween party, and ask me to do murder. that is not justice.

There were concerns the new Batman villian just wasn't scary enough

Which came first? I was waiting here for hours before the chicken turned up.

The Wall Street crack

Ok, we've done this a thousand times before..promise I won't sue.

There were concerns the new Batman villain just wasn't scary enough

(spelling corrected)

All these paparazzi. And that John Tenniel is the worst.

I'd better hide. Here comes John Prescott.

After leaving office, George Bush considered panto this Christmas

In the distance Dale Winton shouted "BRING ON THE WALL!".

Eggs-act-ly

No, I'm not hard over on the plan

Humpty Dumpty doing an air guitar solo? Huh!What next.........a black President?

It's an egg-istentialist argument really

They're repossessing my wall. I knew that Fannie Mae mortgage was a bad idea.

Humpty-Dumpty sat on the Wall Street. Humpty-Dumpty and Wall Street had a great fall.

George had mis-heard the dairy advert that said "Go to work on an egg...."

I used to be a monk. Benedictine, of course.

Since the start of this recession I've been really hard-boiled up financially.

I've got one clue left in the crossword. "Breakfast GEGS (9,4)." I don't get it. Whoops!

New anti-cholesterol campaign 'falls flat' on its face

It had to be said, this was the most egg-sighting election that anyone could remember

Actually the yolk's on America!

As sure as eggs have legs

Go to work in an egg.

The wiseness of the buskers costume was soon called into question when a 6 year old walked off with his guitar.

Please, no more funny captions, I'll split my sides laughing....

In a moment of pique, Sarah Palin lines up all her adversaries on the wall, and takes aim

As he cracks one off, there's a mighty scramble for the exit.

I used to be a Harrods Santa Claus but I get twice the work with this one - Halloween and Easter!

Someone has misunderstood the use of latin on the fancy dress list: "come as significant players in the US election, E.G. Obama, McCain, Palin..."

Re-enactment of the scene discovered foul-play may have been involved.

OK, just one last wafer-thin mint, Sir

We had funny eggs two weeks ago; this competition is getting beyond a yolk!!

Humpty realised, too late, that he'd spent too much time on his leg work down the gym.

And this character represents Sarah Palin. It's a poacher.

You think this looks bad, Big Bird hasn't been able to walk for the last week.

Easy over egg with agoraphobian tendencies seeks hen with nest willing to rule the roost

No, Mr. Bush, we said you'd soon be appearing an an ex-President, not an eggs-President.

OK so I'm hard skinned but I have a soft centre.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
The superglue was working, he wouldn't fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Laughed when he needed the toilet again.

Eet ees all down to my leetle grey cells

Easy over egg with acrophobian tendencies seeks hen with nest willing to rule the roost

Sorry, guys, I always get Halloween and Easter mixed up

Ugh. I knew I shouldn't have drunk that eggnog last night.

Stop yolking about

Nobody liked to tell the outgoing President he'd got Halloween and Easter mixed up

No before you ask, I don't have pieces to make a car inside me

The wall seat crash

Wouldn't you be happy too, I mean I just got laid.

My therapist said I needed to come out of my shell

As the poor man was eaten by Humpty Dumpty, he wondered why noone had rushed to save him.

That liposuction machine wasn't set to "Reverse", surely?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

George Dubya goes out in disguise.

I don't care what your Gran said about making an omelette, I'm not coming down until someone tells me the credit crunch is over

Someone should told him that rehearsing for Eggheads doesn't mean dressing up like an egg

It saves money - I can buy a car without an airbag.

Urban Terror Weapons No.5 :-

Land-Mime disguised as soft toy.

Meanwhile, aboard Air Force 1, someone had been messing with the ejection capsule.

Yeah, it's a clashing colours party.

Jonathan Ross, just before his fall from power

Well, I have 74 days left of my presidency, I should do something fun.

The world's first GMOh, dear, I'm soon to be an ex-President.

Maybe I eggist to be elected to the oval office.

George, it's go to work ON an egg!

I am stuck on this wall and I will never get over easy!

"Since all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put me together again I thought I'd give Obama's guys a try"

Credit Crunch replaced by new issues.

David Blaine's latest stunt even seemed to leave him wondering why.

Edwina Curry proved right - 18 years on.

Chicken embryos of the world unite!

Obama moves on to new projects

I don't believe it, I only put this on to cover up that hideous spot on my face. You can still see it!

Are you absolutely sure the king only has Two horses and men?

Bush finds an alternative to a lame duck presidency.

George lived in dread of being whisked for weapons by the police.

Is the bow tie too much, I knew I shouldn't have overdone it!

Did I leave the gas on?

"Lame Duck President", they said.

"Egg-actly", I replied.

JUDEO/CHRISTIANITY (creationism) - The Chicken came first.
ATHEISM (Darwinism) - The Egg came first.
NEOPAGANISM/EARTH RELIGIONS - Neither is first - the cycle has no beginning or end.
HINDUISM - The Egg awaits within you.
MATRIX - There is no Egg

Obama enjoyed his breakfast that morning – eggs with scrambled McCain chips