Paper Monitor
12:48 UK time, Wednesday, 3 December 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Perhaps visualising one's perfect future takes rather longer than just one night. Yesterday Paper Monitor promised to follow the Beckhams' lead and imagine producing a Pulitzer-worthy article.
Awaking in a groggy and rather uninspired state this morning, Paper Monitor will instead recognise its limitations and seek germs of genius (genii?) in the papers.
Praise be for the Times headline writer who penned this gem: "I'm a celebrity (8ft 2in, hormonal), get me out of here". Stories about Knut the fast-growing polar bear may not cause the Pulitzer panel too many sleepless nights of indecision, but nicely done, that sub.
And any Scrooges out there wanting more after the Lapland New Forest debacle might wish to turn to page 13 of the Daily Mirror, which features a big picture of "Britain's most pathetic Christmas tree" - the centrepiece of festivities in Peterlee, County Durham. It apparently cost 200 of your British pounds. Paper Monitor counts 18 - yes, a one and an eight - decorations bedecking its straggly branches.
And how's this for a visual image from the Sun? "A snowman was so sickened at verbal abuse he suffered that he stormed off in full costume."
Their woman on the scene also points out that when she posed on Santa's lap for a snap, he "smelt like a burger van".
Ah, the magic of Christmas...
The 
