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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Postie may have largely delivered to those generous volunteers who took part in Old Pa Monitor's Going Postal III challenge, but lil ole Paper Monitor has been left feeling something of the Tiny Tims as the paper boy seems to have gone awol.

So, at the risk of disobeying the sage advice of Martin Fry - "If you judge a book by the cover, then you'd judge the look by the lover" (eh?), Paper Monitor must fall back on the photostat-style front pages that arrive at the ´óÏó´«Ã½ each evening, at which Mr Paxman and Mrs Wark have first dibs.

Santa hats seem to be the order of the day - gracing pictures on the front of the Mail (as worn by a toddler who has beaten remarkable odds against sickness), the Sun (snapped on the heads of two Royal Marines in Afghanistan who found their carol service interrupted by Taleban fire), the Guardian (where two young ice skaters cling to each other as they try to maintain their balance), and the Daily Sport (modelled by a lady who, given the scarcity of the rest of her outfit, must surely be grateful for the climatic conditions that mean a white Christmas is looking like a very remote possibility).

In fact, Her Majesty, pictured on the front of the Telegraph almost stands alone for not sporting any Santa garb. At which point Paper Monitor must take its leave to partake in some festive gluttony. But before doing so, a word of advice from the Lexicon of Love to any readers with similar plans:

I hope you'll soon recover. Me I go from one extreme to another.

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