Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Now is no time for punning.
Punning is for stories of animals that seem to think they are other animals. Punning is for surveys about the sex habits of the British.
Punning is not for stories about people losing their jobs.
So the Daily Mirror headline "BROKEN WEDGWOOD SHATTERS 2,700 JOBS" is a bit naughty. Did you see what they did there? Do you get it? DO YOU GEDDIT?
A hat is subtly tipped, though, for their recognition of the (kiddie sweethearts from Germany who set off with plans to get married in Africa).
The paper fills page 15 with the charming story. It's a long way from the Daily Express which regards it as a bit of mere "grouting" (a couple of pars that fill the cracks between other stories).
Over in the Sun, council shenanigans are the order of the day. The paper is so excited about the idea of councillors going off on one that it has a lead on page six and a lead on page 27. The first one is headlined "PEN-PUSHERS ON £2k 'DIVERSITY' JUNKETS". Taxpayers must foot a "huge bill". The second story is "TOWN HALL'S £10K ON 'PIGEON AWARENESS'". There is a "huge bill" to talk about birds.
Who will stop the madness?