Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's not often celebrities, in an albeit loose sense of the word, make it up to the seventh floor of Monitor Towers, but Paper Monitor has just seen Feargal Sharkey strolling past.
It's not a name that's likely to register much on the Richter scale, granted, but here's a thought that's worth mulling as you chew on your crayfish and rocket sarnies - thanks to the internet dating phenomenon, is a good heart these days less hard to find? Mr Sharkey... Mr Sharkey...
Now, your delayed starter for 10... after last week's feast of coverage on Gail Trimble, what's left to say about a woman who has variously been called a "human Google" (Daily Express), "intellectual Blitzkrieg" (the Independent), "quiz queen" (the Sunday Times) and "TV quiz whiz" (the Sun).
Step forward today's Daily Mail with "Paxo's Miss Brainbox". Such reverence.
You may remember how last week's papers mined a rich seam of editorial by comparing Ms Trimble's intellectual achievements with Jade Goody's more, hmmm, superficial success. While Goody is again all over the red tops, it's Victoria Beckham, more specifically her teetering heels, that have united tabloid and "broadsheet" in common cause today.
After yesterday's picture of Beckham planted uncomfortably in a pair of perilously high stilettos, it's time to get stuck into some follow-up material.
"It's been one heel of a day!" is how the Mirror signposts its idea, which involves an Essex mum donning a pair of similar shoes while trying to carry out unremarkable duties such as supermarket shopping, walking the dog and ironing.
Paper Monitor is still getting to grips with an aside in one of the weekend papers that revealed Paris Hilton uses her PA to do her texting. With that in mind, does anyone really think Mrs B does the ironing chez Beckham.
The Express simply cribs a load of archive images of celebrities in high heels to grace a piece about why "women really do look their best in heels."
Even the Guardian can't resist a go - dressing the whole thing up with a high heel survival guide. Tips include taking painkillers, wear woolly tights for better grip and, if anyone is kind enough to offer you a seat, take it.
Paper Monitor wonders how this all went down with those working on the paper's women's page.