Paper Monitor
10:25 UK time, Tuesday, 24 March 2009
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Does your place of work lay on tea, coffee and biscuits - or do employees have dig deep to pay for their own morning and afternoon refreshments?
Kent's justices of the peace are rather exercised that their free biccies and gratis cuppas have been withdrawn in a cost-cutting drive, reports the Daily Telegraph (where one would still like to imagine gingerbread and toasted teacakes, just like Nanny used to make, are carted around the newsroom on a groaning trolley).
The magistrates, who are volunteers, complain that going caffeine-less may hinder the dispensation of county justice... "especially if it's coming to the end of a busy afternoon session," points out one JP.
Ah yes. A long day. A padded chair. A bench to stretch out on. Paper Monitor's eyes are in need of a rest at the very thought of it.
Now they are expected to supply their own refreshments, perhaps the Daily Express can help through its "recession busting tip of the day".
Pausing briefly to cast a green-eyed look at its lead story on "penny mortgages" - courtesy of no-longer-available tracker deals - Paper Monitor turns to page four for its tip. But it's not so much a tip as a reader offer for a discount on airport parking.
And while the Sun's News in Briefs on page three - with Peta, 22, from Essex - does touch on the recession, it may not offer much consolation to those losing their complimentary cuppas. For Peta is "tickled pink" that sales of saucy knick-knocks are apparently up as credit-crunched Brits make their own fun in the bedroom.
Times are indeed tough, when even stories are being recycled so regularly. If Paper Monitor had a penny for every time this chestnut gets raked over - illustrated, inevitably, with a photo of Daisy Lowe in her pants - it would have enough money to, er, buy some custard creams and a round of teas.
How do you take yours?
The 
