Paper Monitor
14:10 UK time, Tuesday, 21 April 2009
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Hit or miss? Those of us slaving away at Monitor Towers are split over today's Metro's cartoon.
It features a couple walking past a newspaper billboard announcing that Stephen Hawking is gravely ill, and the man says: "I wonder if they've tried switching him off and switching him on again."
Paper Monitor cringes, being a delicate petal who cries during Lassie and has a desk liberally decorated with photos of kittens sleeping, kittens playing with balls of wool, kittens squaring up to Great Danes.
But Punorama, who's stopped by to say hi, begs to differ and points out that it is a play on the great man's willing - and necessary - adoption of technology to improve his quality of life.
Meanwhile, the Daily Mirror splashes with "COLLEEN: My secret baby agony". But who's the woman pictured, the brunette in the pussycat bow blouse? In tabloid world, there is only one Colleen, and she spells her name Coleen. And has yet to show much of a fondness for pussycat bows.
This time, it's Paper Monitor's colleague Housekeeping who steps in. "It's Colleen Nolan, you cretins. Don't you ever watch Loose Women?"
The 
