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Paper Monitor

11:56 UK time, Friday, 17 July 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It is, perhaps, a question as old as time, dating back to, oh, at least the pre-social networking era. Who, if you could invite just about anyone, would be your ideal dinner party guests?

For Gordon Brown, who as Prime Minister has, at the very least, the opportunity to turn that fantasy into reality, the answer is revealed in today's Guardian:

Paper Monitor does not know the seating plan.

The paper is also to be congratulated on its colour co-ordination today, tricking out both its front page and G2 cover in an eye-catching combo of tomato red, basil green and white. But there the similarities end. "FREE Italian phrasebook" is on the front, "AMIS ON IRAN" on G2.

Meanwhile, the tabloids report on the unedifying tale of Ingrid Tarrant's parking ticket. When caught parking in a bus stop, she "roared away in her silver Saab", says the Daily Express, only to end up "wrestling on the ground" with a police officer. She says she was "petrified". He says she was "abrupt and rude". Either way, there is not much dignity left intact.

And finally, Metro persists in its efforts to label the Blue Mountains as the Outback. Which indicates that its subs don't hang on Paper Monitor's every post. Today's headline is .

That's not the Outback. This is the Outback.

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