Paper Monitor
09:56 UK time, Wednesday, 14 October 2009
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Readers of yesterday's Paper Monitor must still be on tenterhooks after the mysteries mentioned within.
What? That thing about the ? That is sooooo yesterday (look at the URL on that when you click through... it's Gurniad to the core).
Nah, it's a) "How to get Posh's daft £8k look" and b) "Would you wear an EIGHT GRAND outfit to the school autumn fair?" And answers, by recreating the big-shouldered look:
"Step one... this is all you need a £30 New Look jacket, two tennis balls, a hanger and a sharp knife"
The paper then dresses a Poshalike in the get-up, accessorised with her mortified five-year-old son Dominic.
"Dom said: 'I'd be so embarrassed if my mum turned up dressed like that.'"
Er, but, Dom, the Sun says she actually did turn up at school dressed like that. School gates, or just the paper saying it's the school gates? Out of the mouths of babes...
Not only are offspring ever ready to critique one's outfit, the ladies out there will know that mothers can be a little sniffy too. And this is the role taken by the Daily Mail, which asks
"And the crowning glory of the crazy get-up? The Thunderbirds shoulder pads, which swooped upwards like the roof of a Chinese tea house. She looked for all the world as if she had borrowed her son's padded Batman costume."
Paper Monitor can hardly talk, but how did that old adage about "if you can't say anything nice..." go?
Damien Hirst is perhaps thinking the same thing, given the mauling his latest show has received. The Independent reckons . Derivative is a word that crops up a lot in other reviews (see the Mail's ).
And finally, ever wondered what the double // is for in URLs? Some kind of tricksy code, no doubt (boisterous upstart Web Monitor might know).
Ah look, a piece about Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the British scientist who created the World Wide Web, in the Daily Telegraph. He'll know.
But what's this?
"'Really, if you think about it, it doesn't need the //. I could have designed it not to have the //,' he said last week at the symposium in Washington DC on the future of technology ... 'it seemed like a good idea at the time.'"
Tellingly, the story only seems to appear on the Telegraph's website - and not in the newspaper itself. Evidence, maybe, of the split personality between newspapers and their websites.
But readers of the paper itself who fear they may have lost out can at least console themselves with , leaning against a motorcycle with dry ice fuming at her ankles. Tate Modern apparently used the picture as a replacement for a controversial revealing shot of Shields aged 10.
Funny how things turn out.
The 
