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Paper Monitor

12:04 UK time, Thursday, 31 December 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's New Year's Eve, and that means:

  • There are fewer bared bosoms in the Daily Star than usual, what with all the coverage of the honours list
  • Word play headlines, such as "Status QuO.B.E" in the Daily Mirror
  • This is not just cold weather. This is Daily Express Weather© (expl: climatic conditions so extreme they break some sort of standing record or other) and revellers will brave "one of the worst winters in recent memory"
  • Last-minute canapes in the Daily Mail, such as a Lidl prawn platter. Also served at the Mail's party are frozen mini-pizzas, mini chicken Kievs and mini frittatas
  • Future gazing in the Independent. No entry-level 2010 predictions, these are for 2020, like see-through suitcases for airport security and a David Hare verbatim play at the National Theatre on Britain's Got Talent
  • And bikini babes snapped sucking their tummies in while on winter sun breaks in the Sun

Happy New Year, one and all!

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