Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Never, in the field of human punnery, has a picture promised so much and delivered so little. Ok, maybe that's a tad overstating it. But here we have a shot of David Cameron jogging in the rain as he warms up for his speech at the Tories' spring conference.
"I'm fit to run Britain" - the Daily Telegraph
"Cameron struggles to make the running" - the Independent
"Running scared" - Daily Mirror
Come on folks - you can do better. Allow Paper Monitor to suggest "One pronation Conservative".
While there's plenty of chin stroking on the inside pages about what the latest narrowing of the polls means for Team Cameron, Fleet Street's sharpest minds miss the most concerning angle - jogger's nipple.
If David Cameron really has been running in the rain wearing nothing more than a cotton T-shirt - as seems to be the case from the pictures - rather than a wicking top, what state the potential future leaders chest?