Paper Monitor
11:33 UK time, Thursday, 6 May 2010
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Because we're not mentioning the E-word, and in response to , today Paper Monitor will only read the newspaper problem pages.
Dyer, the star of a slew of solid-sales-on-DVD classics, says he was misquoted by Zoo when it had him telling a lovelorn reader to "cut your ex's face, then no-one will want her".
Zoo have blamed a production error for the advice appearing, but there has been an avalanche of criticism.
It's the kind of mistake the Sun's Dear Deidre would never make.
Deidre's shtick is this - racy letters are met with totally straight-laced answers.
Today an 18-year-old woman with a boyfriend the same age keeps having sex with older men she meets on the web. Deidre's answer: You're blotting out the pain and should read the leaflet Hooked on Casual Sex.
A 21-year-old man has difficulty forming relationships because of his "average-sized penis". Deidre's advice: Ring 75p-a-minute phone line entitled Manhood Too Small?
Over in the Daily Star there's a not dissimilar format in Just Jane with Jane O'Gorman.
The highlight today is about a widowed grandmother who's in a state of mortal embarrassment. She had a bedroom littered with "sex aids" and after a fall left her in hospital, she was unhappy to hear her family had been in her house doing a bit of redecoration.
"I went cold remembering how many sex toys were left around in my room. I got home and they'd all been neatly tidied into a pile."
Both Deidre and Jane have their serious answers bordered with a photo casebook. Deidre today has a scantily-clad man and woman having an affair, but Jane has two dyed-blonde women enjoying each other's company.
There is no such visual stimulation over in the Daily Mirror, where Dr Miriam Stoppard is Dear Miriam.
Dr Stoppard gives you a full page on skin conditions before she even gets to the problems. And there are not usually letters about threesomes or wild steamy affairs with bosses.
Each to their own.
The 
