Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Ooooh, the intrigue! What a tangled web we weave, when first we try to sell a story to the papers.
The British ex-husband of the flame-haired and pouty one accused by the FBI of being a Russian spy has broken his silence about their time together, married when she was 19 and he 21.
Alex Chapman's story - and photo album - is spread all over the Daily Telegraph (), an interview the .
"He is believed to have negotiated a four-figure sum for an interview with the Daily Telegraph, saying the money is needed to complete his studies as a psychology student or, as he later claimed, to 'get through medical school'."
The Times - who he obviously also spoke to at length - reveals that on Wednesday, a woman from MI5 telephoned Mr Chapman. "She advised him not to talk to the press."
Given that he and his mother and father are now represented - with crushing inevitability - by Max Clifford, Mr Chapman chose to ignore her advice.
"Undeterred, Mr Chapman contacted The Times that evening to tell - and try to sell - his story of the spy he thought had loved him... He claimed to have taught her everything she knows about the world of commerce and to having set up a family business that he described as 'a competitor to Western Union'... The reality, as with so much of the story surrounding Anna Chapman, is substantially more prosaic... Southern Union still exists but has less than £10,000 in the bank."
But wait, there's more! The Times pitches up at the couple's tiny former flat in Stoke Newington after a cat-and-mouse game involving Companies House, a man listed on official documents as not just being co-director with the former Mr and Mrs Chapman but living at their flat, and his denials of any knowledge - including saying the signature given is not his own.
"Neighbours said that two men unknown men in suits, described as having an 'air of menace', arrived there yesterday asking questions. Candida Doyle, 46, a councillor and former keyboard player with the pop group Pulp, recalled seeing..."
Hold on, what?
"...former keyboard player with the pop group Pulp..."
What?!? Could this story get any better?
"...recalled seeing Alex Chapman. 'He was very handsome,' she said. 'I remember seeing him sitting on the bench with a bunch of flowers. It was on Valentine's Day and he was writing a card, and I was really jealous.'"
No, that's enough. Newspapers, with these bizarre snippets, you are spoiling us.