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1. Kenya's MPs aren't allowed to wear bling.
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2. People with full bladders make better decisions.

3. Killer whales have a "stealth mode".

4. Finnish men have have some of the highest sperm counts in the world.
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5. The ransom paid to release Richard the Lionheart, captured in 1192 on his way back from fighting the Crusades, was the equivalent of about £2bn in today's money.
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6. Parents exaggerate the joy of having children to justify the sky-high cost of bringing them up.

7. The Mr Men and Little Miss series have sold more than 100 million copies worldwide.
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8. There are 16 amateur superheroes patrolling UK streets at night.

9. The average time Britons have their first alcoholic drink in the evening is 7.11pm.

10. Britain's biggest bird of prey is the white-tailed (or sea) eagle, which has a wingspan of eight feet.
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Seen 10 things? .

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"Student feedback for this event was uniformly positive," Prof Bailey said. I'll bet it was. People usually have to pay for that sort of thing.
Sarah, Basel, Switzerland

Re: Can you spot a good school from stats? If you want training for the jobs market possibly yes. If you want proper education then perhaps no.
Linda Thomas

It's no surprise that so many people are staring at Bum Cam. They're all wondering if that peculiar square bulge is actually a camera, and if so why?
Graham, Purmerend

Re: Are rising bird of prey numbers a problem? We fiddled with the natural balance of things and now its not in our favour we complain? *rolleyes*
Sharon Barrett

So prescription charges are increasing yet again to £7.40. But it's ok, because 90% of prescriptions are free of charge. I'm not sure I see the logic there - that means when I pay for a prescription I'm also paying for 9 other people's. Why not make the prescription charge 74p and charge for all prescriptions, the income to the NHS would be the same and we wouldn't feel so ripped off when charged £7.40 for four pills, as has happened to me in the past.
Amanda, London

What worries me most about the story "Ministry of Defence denies paying £22 for 65p bulb" is that presumably the contract went out to tender and the MoD selected the least expensive tender.
Ed Loach, Clacton, UK

Come on MM - if you really must use photos of random celebs to illustrate a story on central heating then you could at least use people who are vaguely relevant to the subject matter. The Three Degrees, perhaps. Or Christopher Plummer.
Sue, London

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Winning entries in the Caption Competition.
The competition is now closed.

This week it was a nominee for Queen of the Santa Cruz carnival in Tenerife showing off her outfit to the jury.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. BeckySnow
Pimp my loo roll holder

5. KaptainKaption
No, on second thoughts I'll just have the tights

4. LaurenceLane
Damn! I've got to go and change, she's wearing the same dress!

3. Grazvalentine
Colin Firth proves he isn't the same in every role by taking the lead in the new Liberace biopic

2. Franc Bolero
It was WPC Consuela's first day in the Santa Cruz Plain Clothes Division

1. BaldoBingham
Hmm, overdressed? Well you don't go to Elton John's baby's christening every day of the week

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The hidden camera has a long and distinguished Fleet Street history - one that has exposed multiple misdeeds by corrupt politicians, business people and sports stars, very often in tandem with a man posing as a sheikh.

This morning, the Sun takes covert recording to an entirely new level with an innovation it labels, with customary brevity, as

This, it turns out, is a tiny video lens attached discretely to the posterior of an attractive, and inevitably female, model. Passers-by who find themselves gazing at said backside are captured on film and exposed with dead-eyed ruthlessness.

From around the country, Bum Cam's findings flood in. London is the first target. "On Tower Bridge two runners nearly tripped over as they craned their necks for a look," exclaims the paper.

In Manchester, one "brave bloke even spun round to get a look while walking with his girlfriend". And in Birmingham, "leggy blonde Iskra Lawrence, 20, had all the passers-by staring".

Paper Monitor is reminded the Press Complaints Commission's code of conduct insists journalists must not "seek to obtain or publish material acquired by using hidden cameras or clandestine listening devices" except where the tactic "can be demonstrated to be in the public interest", and if the public interest is not served by printing images of passers-by slyly glancing at the rear of a young woman Paper Monitor doesn't know what is.

PM's gaze is diverted, however, by Oliver Pritchett in the Daily Telegraph, who laments the decline of bowls in Plymouth, where Sir Francis Drake famously refused to desist playing the game as the Spanish Armada was sighted.

The bowling green on Plymouth Hoe is threatened with closure, it appears. by introducing "baseball caps, fluorescent jackets, sponsors' logos, group hugs and tantrums".

He continues:

It is time to introduce Wags (of a certain age, perhaps) and flashy cars (or at least the smartest of mobility scooters), as well as agents and lawyers paid to keep the goings-on in the tearoom out of the newspapers. From now on, anything goes - so long as the sacred turf doesn't suffer the merest dent or blemish, of course.

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Come on MM - if you really must use photos of random celebs to illustrate a story on central heating then you could at least use people who are vaguely relevant to the subject matter - The Three Degrees, perhaps. Or Christopher Plummer.
Sue, London

Is Jeremy Bowen sure he interviewed Colonel Gaddafi and not his Spitting Image puppet?
J. Paul Murdock, Wall Heath, West Midlands, UK

To Phil, Hackney, (Wednesday's letters) were you by any chance in the middle lane, towing a caravan? If so, I think I and thousands of others were stuck behind you.
Fi, Gloucestershire, UK

Francesca (Wednesday's letters), we were going to start a Procrastinating Club when I was at school but unfortunately we never quite got round to it.
Susan, Newcastle

Francesca's (Wednesday's letters) parents must have had little imagination when naming their child something other than Enid.
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales

It's an obvious one, but... What an ass.
Ellie, Oxford

I think the question, more to the point, is whether anyone would really want to understand her.
Rusty, Montreal, Canada

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

In this era of rocketing commodity prices and ever more expensive food, every little helps.

So the Daily Mail is doing its bit by giving away a loaf of bread. It's carefully flattened and spread slice-by-slice throughout each copy.

Ah no, it's just a voucher.

But Paper Monitor is fascinated to see the other vouchers for today.

"Afternoon tea for two", "Royal Doulton spring figurine" and - PM raced to dig out the scissors at the sight of this one - "Lark Rise to Candleford DVD".

Those who like their jewellery endorsed by aristocrats who were close personal friends of Diana, Princess of Wales are well catered for, with both a "Rosa Monckton double ring" and, additionally, a "Rosa Monckton ring stack" on offer.

Elsewhere in the same paper, PM's eyes are drawn to a feature about life as a self-confessed "yo-yo dieter" by writer Claudia Connell.

It isn't her account of veering between a sizes eight and 18, nor the vivid description of what it is like to lose an gain 17 stone in a decade that captures the attention, however, so much as the image from

The photograph prompts a series of questions that, PM suspects, may never be answered.

Firstly, what was the purpose of the picture? Who was its intended audience? And, most disconcertingly, did it form part of a series?

Flicking through the rival Daily Express, another seemingly insoluble conundrum presents itself.

The results of the previous day's phone poll - on the subject, "Have Labour policies wrecked Britain?" - are in. Some 99% say "yes".

Who, then, were these 1% of Daily Express readers who voted "no"?

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Re Paper Monitor: "An uneconomical 50mph"? I have been under the impression that 56mph is the driving speed for optimum efficiency since I passed my test nearly 20 years ago, when I drove at this speed all the way from Cumbria to Newquay. I look forward to finding out the speed at which we should have driven in tomorrow's letters.
Phil, Hackney, London

Dave (Monday's letters), sorry for the delay, I would suggest you refer to him as a dimTwit
Ellie, Herts

To David, Romford, UK (Monday's letters) surely a "noun-entity" or an "adject-failure" might be appropriate. As for those who use Twitter to share their inppropriate comments, they should, of course, be known as "Twits"...
Fi, Gloucestershire, UK

Today's Paper Monitor is quite right that there are some "go to" photos that are standard for certain topics. For instance, Colin Firth for an article about stammering.

But given this country's huge alcohol problems, shouldn't there be a handy "go to" photo for articles about the excesses of drink? Any ideas, anyone? There must be one somewhere...
Simon Varwell, UK

It is of interest to me that neither the article about King John, nor the letters mention Stephen Langton. William Marshall, deservedly, at least gets some comment in the letters, but not Langton.
David Dupee, Fort Wayne, IN, USA

I'm sure I've read this article before somewhere.
Phil, Guisborough

Procrastinating whilst writing my Drugs of Abuse essay because I have no idea what to write, I come across this page coincidence?
Francesca, Blyton

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor appreciates how hard it is to find pictures that match dry subjects.

There are stock photo libraries that picture desks like to go to, but they have to be used as sparingly as possibly.

Then there are photos that are a "go-to" for illustrating certain topics - David Brent in The Office, for bad bosses or workplace etiquette, being a classic.

Again these are regularly overused.

But Paper Monitor is left scratching its head by page two of today's Times.

The paper is trumpeting its transition to being part of a carbon-neutral company. News Corporation says it has zero net carbon emissions, meeting a goal it set three years ago.

And the picture used? Neytiri from Avatar.

Has she advised in this carbon neutrality project? Oh no, she's fictional. So her character must be a symbolic representation of the environmental movement.

Avatar's not mentioned in the column. But Paper Monitor seems to recall Avatar was a 20th Century Fox film. And that studio is owned by? Yes, News Corporation.

Of course, they could have chosen an Ewok from Star Wars as their cute symbol of nature and all that. That was a Fox film.

Speed, with its requirement to drive at an uneconomical 50mph, would not be so good.

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Re: The £295m question: Why does the UK give aid to booming India? Just because their economy is booming, that doesn't mean there aren't people living in abject poverty and squalor. The British economy was booming throughout the nineteenth century but the quality of life and living standards of your average Briton were nothing short of atrocious and intolerable. The same applies to China and India today.
Craig Williams

This is stupid, but at least it should stop those annoying "Sheila's Wheels" adverts.
Chris, Newbury, UK

At last! King John was NOT actually a villain. The Chroniclers of the day lead an amazing smear campaign which has been perpetuated by Hollywood etc. In one account King John is accused of personally murdering a priest. Several years later the same man goes on to become Bishop of Ely. Not bad for a murder victim. It's about time someone stook up for him.
Sarah-Helen Snow

I know that brainy physicists are supposed to talk in a language that us mere mortals can't understand, but seriously... "The most likely place for the Higgs to be is in a very good place for us to discover it in the next two years."
Rob, London, UK

Susan Thomas (Monday's letters) - no, but the front looks like my grandma's fireplace guard.
Jill B., Detroit, USA

Does anyone else want to see cash points have a standardised user interface? I've just turned 30 and my younger colleague thinks its a non issue. Just thought I'd throw this one out there.
Steve, Bath

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Newspapers basically present two views of the world.

One - the world of page leads - is all about wars and interest rates and coalition governments.

The other is all about animals doing strange things and people committing odd minor crimes.

Welcome to the world of the "nib". The nib or news-in-brief, ostensibly exists to fill the small gaps in newspapers cheaply.

They are often strangely entertaining. Take for example, the Sun's report of a couple who has repeatedly fled their home after witnessing a series of terrifying haunts and capturing flying orbs on CCTV.

But they can sometimes be both poignant and bizarre.

The Daily Mirror recounts the sad plight of a crocodile. The paper warns that the Polish police are on the hunt for the person who strangled a five-foot croc and left the body in a Polish forest.

In other animal-related news, the Sun tells us that a lonely rescue pup might finally get a home thanks to the wonders of mouthwash.

Tommy, a retired racing greyhound, had been rejected by 300 potential owners because of bad breath caused by gingivitis and immune system problems.

The shelter hopes the dog's new minty fresh muzzle will help him finally get a home.

It might be easy to fix a case of stale breath, but the Daily Star reports that Portsmouth council has made a mistake that's a bit more costly.

In a mix-up, the new Olympic-size swimming pool is 2in too short when timing devices for elite swimmers are installed.

Just about the size of the perfect nib.

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So is a pasty from outside of Cornwall now a pastiche?
Nicolas, London, UK

Anyone else think the backshot of Cate Blanchett's Oscar dress looks like a vulture has vomited down it?
Susan Thomas, Brisbane, Australia

Re: "Could you defend yourself in court", on a charge of egregious nominitive determinism in the first degree, the chair of the Judges Council would find it very difficult to defend himself. Guilty.
Marc, Oldham

I'm trying to think of a suitable word to describe someone who apologises for using an inappropriate adjective when it was a noun which caused offence.
David, Romford, UK

Mike (Friday's letters) - no, but Haagen Bras do.
Sue, London

Re today's quote of the day: Are they together now?
George, Barbados

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The Sun takes a leaf out of the Taiwanese news today.

NMA World Edition has gained a level of viral fame for its animations of news events like Tiger Woods's accident.

It's a simple idea - if you can't get pictures from an event, why not make them up? According to what you think happened. Job done.

The Sun on page four has a big spread on the rescue of British workers from the Libyan desert and from it we learn that the SAS men reportedly involved probably crouched and pointed their weapons while people were boarding.

And speaking of having to fill a news hole, the early editions of the newspapers have to deal with the fact it's Oscar night but the action takes place with a total disregard for newspaper deadlines.

So you then have lots of holding pieces, informed by the educated guesses of night editors and their film buff lackeys.

The Daily Mail goes minimal on the Oscars, a picture of Joan Collins and another of a pregnant Natalie Portman on page three and then just a big link to the website.

The Times has a weird choice of Oscar story on page five where it has Melissa Leo saying it's time for someone else to win. Most news junkie readers will have known Leo had won by the time they picked up their Times.

It's all a bit like the Orbital song Time Becomes [a Loop].

Kind of.

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